She moves on. The world moves on. Life moves on. You wonder why you haven't.
As you struggle to pack your bags in front of an irritated Chaeyoung, your hands begin to shake, equally in embarrassment and nervousness — she had decided to kick you out over a silly joke you made and you're scared that she is never going to want to see you again.
"Hurry up," she groans, leaning against the headboard with her arms crossed as if she was disgusted at the sight of you. "Why are you moving so slow?"
"I'm trying my best," you say in frustration, wondering how can she be so heartless towards you when she was doing nothing but whisper sweet nothings to you for weeks. And like the gullible hopeless romantic you are, you fell for it. "I can't fucking believe this."
It's a friends with benefits agreement; you were never supposed to fall for her, but here you are, crumbling under a cruel goddess. With the way she treats you, you don't know whether this is still worth it or not. To this day, you still can't understand how you can let a woman belittle you like this — well, technically, she just wasn't some girl you met off the street, but even then, before you met her, you would never let anyone do this to you.
Rosé of Blackpink; a member of the world's biggest girl group and one of South Korea's national treasures. Nonetheless, you want nothing for yourself but to stop kneeling at the feet of the girl who will never look at you the same way you look at her — as if the stars were in her eyes.
The only audible noise is the sound of the zipper closing your bag. You had just packed more than a month's worth of clothes, thinking that she wanted you to stay with her during her summer break, yet it has only been two weeks and she found the pettiest way to get rid of you.
You truly begin to process that as much as you love her, it's time to move forward. She's everything to you but you're nothing to her; it's a fact that you still need to face. You come to think of it; how many times has she done this to you?
You cancelled all of your plans just to be with her so she wouldn't feel so lonely, yet, after using you for a small taste of excitement, she wants to get rid of you. God knows you would turn the whole world around just to be with her — all those times you flew from country to country just to hold her close; it was only one of the many sacrifices you made just to keep her happy and satisfied.
In the end, it didn't get you far.
"Goodbye Rosé," you clench your jaw, knuckles turning white as you try to hold back the tears threatening to fall. The words already coming out of your lips before you can stop it. "I think..." you pause for a moment, your frail attempt at choking up the words visibly failing. "This is the last time."
Taken aback by your words, you hear her shift into a different position behind you. "What is that supposed to mean?"
You wrap your fingers around the cold handle of the hotel room door, twisting it open. "You know what it means."
Four years of hoping she will learn to love you back and you get nothing in return — she didn't have to love you, even, the least she could've done was see your worth; not just throw you around like you were some chew toy. Of the twenty-four months of messing around with her, most of them were spent within a hotel room. After all, you were her dirty little secret; the only thing she could keep from the rest of the world and that only fuelled her passion. You knew that she was aware of your feelings, yet, she continued to lead you along.
Some moments felt real; the way her fingers intertwined with yours, the way she would hug you from behind whenever you admired the view, the way you accidentally blurted the same things and would laugh about it afterwards — it was beautiful, exactly just like paradise. Perhaps, if you held your feelings back, what you had could've lasted. You were once the constellation she admired, now the moon weeps at how she dimmed the brightness within you.
