asking for silver,
but i got a box,
i blamed,
i cried,
never realised,
there was gold inside.
-at
Sometimes you did not get what you wanted because God actually planning to give bigger than what you wanted.
I waited the whole 2 years to get something that I had been asking to God and God given me something I never imagined.
The first failure left me being so vulnerable. I was so depressed and my whole life was being conquered by fear. When I faced the first failure in my life, I broke down so hard into the ground, I was lost and I was fear on starting again because I was scared that I would have my second failure again. But with all my strengths that left in me, I started to fight again with the small hope inside of me that hoping to see light again in the dark world of mine.
Along 2 whole years, I never ask for anything but all i asked was strength to get through the journey. I was weak mentally and emotionally. I broke down so hard that I ruined my emotion and my mental health but despite these obstacles, I always have a little hope in my heart, I always believe that I would have a better ending this time, it just I have to be patience and strong enough to stay until the end of this destination.
I had been living a life where I did not achived anything else, I had been watching people to get what they wanted in their life and I never really have the first ever success that I did by my own all I ever have was my first painful failure which awake me.
Despite the pains I had, despite the obstacles that I had, I worked so hard just to create a better ending for me this time. I tortured myself every night by not sleeping just for me to work harder because all I think was people were working harder than me so I should work hard more so that I have my place in a better ending. It sounded easy, but the more I stay up late, the more bad scenes created by my mind. I would spend hours laying down my bed awake before sleeping with my mind creating thousand bad scenes which triggered my anxiety. This was how my night the whole 2 years and no one ever know it except my God. He saw it all.
I sacrificed my blood, tears and sweats the whole two years and in the end, I finally have my better ending. It was unexpected. I still never believe it until this moment and I still feel so grateful to God for the opportunity because it was my first ever success which I brought to home.
Believe and patience. These are the two powerful things I had learned throughout the whole 2 years. When you always believe on something, it keeps you going, it keeps your spirit high, and it keeps you fighting for what you wanted in life. So whatever life taken you to, always believe that something better are coming, always believe that you will survive and always believe in yourself. Be patience too. When you are being patience, the heaven will see it and there is a big reward for patience people. The buildings is not build up in a day, it takes months and even years. So be patience on life and be patience on yourself. Remember, these are the two powerful things that you should always hold on to in order to survive our world and trust me, there are always be a good ending for people who always believe and be patience.
