Demi’s POV:
We’re parked outside my parents house, Jennel sits across from me nervously playing with her hands as tears stream down her cheeks and then fall on to her lap. You could cut the tension in here with a knife but we both need to talk, i need to fix what I’ve broken, i need to make things right; I’m so stupid, I’ve ruined everything.
“Jennel....”
“Save it, Demi” Jennel chokes out between sobs.
“I’m so sorry” I plead as i look at the broken girl sitting mere inches from me; I fucked up, i fucked up big time. I don’t know what happened, i just got caught up in the moment and I’m not denying that i liked kissing her but this can’t got any further than it already has, it can’t go past just a kiss; I’m engaged to be married in six months and i love him, right?
“Please don’t” Jennel slowly shakes her head “Please...I can’t take those words right now and I haven’t got time for sorry’s anymore...You said you’d never let anyone hurt me, you promised Demi and you let me down.” She whispers as her voice cracks, focusing her gaze on mine.
“Rockstar....” I reach for her hand but she pulls it away from me.
“Don’t call me that. You have no right to call me that now.” Jennel snaps and pushes herself as far away from me as she can, she wraps her arms around herself as her voice fills the empty space of the range rover, cutting the tension.
“Jennel please, just let me explain” I beg.
“Explain what, Demi? Please fucking enlighten me.” Jennels voice gets louder and the hurt that was previously there is now changed to a mix of betrayed and angry; I grip the edges of my seat in an attempt to calm myself down and not completely fall apart.
“Is it the fact that you led me on and made me believe that you like me as much as i like you? The fact that you cheated on your fiancé with me, the person you claim to be so in love with. Is it that you’ve destroyed me and you’ve probably destroyed him too?! Or wait, is it the fact that i felt like you were actually helping me get better and then you shatter every bit of happiness i had left? Is it the fact that i fucking trusted you Demi, I trusted you and all you did was throw it back in my face!” Jennel was full on sobbing at this point but she kept going as i sat silently, realising that everything that she’s saying is true; I’m a terrible person, oh my god what have i done?
“And the fucking icing on the cake is” Jennel paused to shake her head before running her hands through her hair. “The fucking pathetic thing is that i liked to think that you like me as much as i like you, no, as much as i LOVE you. I’m so fucking in love with you and for a second you actually made me believe you felt the same way.” She let out a dry chuckle as she dropped her hands on to her lap.
“I’m a fucking idiot. So stupid” Jennel shakes her head as the tears streamed and she silently sobbed, completely shutting down again. I don’t know what to say, i don’t have anything to say because everything she said is true, every single thing and there’s no justifying what i’ve done; I know that i’m never going to forgive myself for this because i don’t deserve forgiveness. I’ve done the one thing i swore that i would never do and i’ve completely broken one of the single most important and special people in my life; I don’t deserve anything good in this world.
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I don't know what I'm going to finish this chapter BUT! I thought I'd post a little sneak peak to tide y'all over until i do. Thank you all for your continued patience with me during my hiatus and while i continue to work on myself. I love each and everyone of you.
Please know that if you're struggling and you need to talk to someone, my inbox is ALWAYS open to you. To anyone reading this who's going through a tough time, stay strong and remember that although you might not feel it, you are strong enough to overcome any struggle, batlle or challenge thrown your way; you are you much stronger than you think, believe or feel right now.
Stay strong, know you are loved and remember; my inbox is open to any one of you reading this who needs to talk, i will be here for you and i will support you.
I love you little Warriors.
