Demi's POV:
We're parked outside my parents house, Jennel sits across from me nervously playing with her hands as tears stream down her cheeks and then fall on to her lap. You could cut the tension in here with a knife but we both need to talk, i need to try and fix what I've broken, i need to make things right; I'm so stupid, so fucking stupid.
"Jennel...."
"Save it, Demi" Jennel chokes out between sobs.
"I'm so sorry" I plead as i look at the broken girl sitting mere inches from me; I fucked up, i fucked up big time. I don't know what happened, i just got caught up in the moment and I'm not denying that i liked kissing her but this can't got any further than it already has, it can't go past just a kiss; I'm engaged to be married in six months and i love him, right?
"Please don't" Jennel slowly shakes her head "Please...I can't take those words right now and I haven't got time for sorry's anymore...You said you'd never let anyone hurt me, you promised Demi and you let me down." She whispers as her voice cracks, focusing her gaze on mine.
"Rockstar...." I reach for her hand but she pulls it away from me.
"Don't call me that. You have no right to call me that now." Jennel snaps and pushes herself as far away from me as she can, she wraps her arms around herself as her voice fills the empty space of the range rover.
"Jennel please, just let me explain" I beg.
"Explain what, Demi? Please fucking enlighten me." Jennels voice gets louder and the hurt that was previously there is now replaced by a mix of betrayal and angry; I grip the edges of my seat in an attempt to calm myself down and not completely fall apart.
"Is it the fact that you led me on and made me believe that you like me as much as i like you? The fact that you cheated on your fiancé with me? The person you claim to be so in love with? Remember him, Demetria? Is it that you've destroyed me and you've probably destroyed him too?! Or wait, is it the fact that i felt like you were actually helping me get better and then you shatter every bit of happiness i had left? Is it the fact that i fucking trusted you Demi, I trusted you and all you did was throw it back in my face!" Jennel was full on sobbing at this point but she kept going as i sat silently, realising that everything that she's saying is true; I'm a terrible person, oh my god what have i done?
"And the fucking icing on the cake is" Jennels voice drops to a near silent level again as pauses to shake her head, before running her hands through her hair.
"The fucking pathetic thing is that i liked to think that you like me as much as i like you, no, as much as i LOVE you. I'm so fucking in love with you and for a second you actually made me believe you felt the same way." She let out a dry chuckle as she dropped her hands on to her lap.
"I'm a fucking idiot. So stupid" Jennel says barely above a whisper, she shakes her head as tears cascade down her face, she sits across from me; silently sobbing and completely shutting down on me again. I don't know what to say, i don't have anything to say because everything she said is true, every single thing and there's no justifying what i've done; I know that i'm never going to forgive myself for this because i don't deserve forgiveness. I've done the one thing i swore that i would never do and i've completely broken one of the single most important and special people in my life; I don't deserve forgiveness, not now, not ever.
"Can i go now?" Jennels voice is barely audible, as i glance over at her i catch her looking at me but as soon as i look at her, she averts her gaze back to her hands.
"I don't want to let you go....I know that we're sleeping in the same house but i can't let you go in there with the way things are right now." I pause and take a shaky breathe.
"I-i can't let you go in there without knowing if we're ever going to be okay again. Jennel, I can't even begin to explain how fucking sorry i am, I never meant to hurt you and all i really wanted to do, all I've ever wanted to do since the day i first met you was to make you happy and make you feel safe, but more so lately than ever. I made it my mission to help you heal, to glue all your broken pieces back together but i know that all i've done is broken you more and that's something that I'll never forgive myself for as long as i live. I don't expect you to forgive me anytime soon, or at all actually, but please, Jennel, just please tell me if we're ever going to be okay again.." I drop my head into my hands as i let my tears fall freely, I can't believe that i've been so fucking stupid.
"I'm sorry, Demi, but i can't give you that answer....not right now, nobody can...." I can feel Jennels eyes locked on me, but i can't bring myself to look her in the eyes. I nod into my palms before releasing the lock to her door and as Jennel gets out of the car, all i can do is watch her as she walks away from me, maybe for the last time.
