The Voice Within

Chapter 2: London, April 11th 2011

Steam hung like a shimmering mirage over the drying pavements as Doug made his way along Southampton Row towards the University of London.

Rachel and he had split three years ago after a particularly bad patch. Their marriage had been through plenty of ups and downs but Doug's persistent infidelity had been the last straw for Rachel. As he dodged puddles and weaved his way through dawdling groups of tourists, it surprised him how much pain returned when he allowed his mind to dwell on the break up.

He reached Russell Square, a pleasant oasis of grass and ornamental flower beds situated in the heart of Bloomsbury. On one side, it was overlooked by the towering edifice of Senate House, the art deco administrative centre of the University of London. A small cafe was situated in one corner of the park. Tables were being set up on the surrounding grass as customers bared their porcelain flesh for the first time this year to the sun's timid rays. Doug settled at one of them. Around him, people chatted beneath a canopy of fresh spring leaves. He began to wonder about his own situation – no job, possible court action pending, broken marriage, failed relationship with his son. His job had given him status, self-respect and some measure of protection. Without it, he felt vulnerable and alone.

Then he saw Rachel walking towards him from the direction of Senate House where she  worked as an administrative assistant. Not the slim young girl he had married, but still good looking. Her dark hair was cut just above the shoulders. She wore a smart beige suit with the jacket open to reveal a low cut top – low enough to warrant a second look. He remembered the early days of their marriage, eagerly awaiting her arrival in some bar or coffee shop. They would have kissed, hugged, asked after each other, then gone home to the house they both shared and made love. But now she was no longer his. She was engaged to Martin, an economics lecturer at the university. He felt anxious. He knew their conversation would be stilted and difficult.

"You're early," she said, with an edge to her voice which he knew meant she was nervous too.

"It's good to see you, Rachel. How are you?"

"We need to talk about Nick," she replied, studiously ignoring any question from him which might invite more intimate conversation. "You said you spoke to him a fortnight ago."

"About a fortnight ago. I can't be certain."

"It was over four weeks ago. On the 27th," she replied tersely.

"Then why ask if you already knew?" he snapped, immediately regretting it. Her face tensed. 

He and Rachel had met at Nottingham University in 1981. They had both been university activists and had thrown themselves into lives of campaigning and protest. Doug's high octane presence and charisma got him interviews on regional TV and it wasn't long before he was offered a junior reporter job on the local paper, following his graduation. 

"Come on, Rachel. You know what it's like with Nick and me. It just doesn't work. God knows we've both tried."

"You – try!" she exploded. "Let me remind you of the times you've promised me that you would …" He noticed people at nearby tables turn in their direction, drawn by her raised voice and flailing hands.

"Rachel, Rachel, please. Don't let's do this again," he whispered, trying to calm the outburst. "You told me there was a problem with Nick. Tell me what it is. Let's discuss it."

She paused, unsure whether his plea was genuine. Then shrugged and continued in a measured voice.

"I first noticed it a few weeks back. Nick seemed more distant than usual. He's never been effusive on the phone but something seemed different about him this time."