The Voice Within

Chapter 9: Penhallam, April 22nd 1643

Kate lay on her bed. The wealds across her back and legs still stung. But worse than that was her wounded spirit. She felt demeaned, humiliated, defiled and full of hate. She looked again at the face of the man who caused this – her father. His steely grey eyes bore down on her from the portrait on the wall and seemed to follow her every movement.

Since her father and Robert had left to join the Royalist force at Launceston, she had been shut in this room. Her mother had been instructed not to enter. Only Beth, the maid, was permitted to bring her food and water but was forbidden from talking to her.

Kate looked again at the face of her jailer – searching for some explanation, some understanding of why her life had become so unbearable. How could she fight him? How could she destroy him? She had seriously contemplated suicide. It would end her suffering and bring shame upon him. Only one thing stopped her – John. They had been lovers now for two years – since she was fifteen and it was only the hope that she would be united with him one day that kept her alive. But even that dream now was in ruins. As her father and Robert had ridden to join the Royalists, John had ridden with other young men from the area to join the Parliamentarians. Soon there would be an almighty battle that would decide the fate of the West Country.

As pain welled up inside her she stared defiantly into the eyes of her tormentor. She felt herself being drawn towards the grey expanse of his face until it enveloped her and wrapped her in mist so that she floated as she might in a calm ocean. Her pain receded and she felt at peace. She had the sensation of being in-between time, reaching back into the past and forward to the future. Then a feeling of not being alone – another presence nearby – familiar yet strange. And she sensed pain – like hers. As if her own pain was projected into the future. She heard the cry of a girl and a shot ring out. But she could only listen. It was not her time.

The sound of her door being opened propelled her quickly back to reality. Beth stood in the doorway holding a tray. Her head was bowed and she avoided Kate's look.

"It's alright Beth. The master's not here. You'll not be hurt."

She rose to take the tray from Beth. On it was a pitcher of water and a slither of bread. A cloth covered a slice of dried ham. She removed the cloth and immediately saw a small piece of paper protruding from underneath the meat. Her heart beating faster, she removed it and saw it was from John.

"Oh Beth, you angel," she whispered as she hugged the frightened girl. "Don't worry. No one will know. You are truly my friend."

Beth curtsied awkwardly and ran from the room. Kate pushed the door shut and began reading.

'My dearest Kate. How I miss you. It has been over four weeks now since we last met and I held you close to me. This war becomes more severe. The King's men have taken a stand near Launceston and I fear there will be a major confrontation within days. Before that happens, I long to see you again – perhaps one last time. I want you to meet me on Friday night. I have arranged for a man to escort you to a safe place where I will be waiting – his name is Ben. He will arrive at midnight. Dress as a boy. It will be safest. Wait in the shadows by the porch. My endearing love, John'

Tears streamed down Kate's face as she crumpled the note to her breast. The thought of seeing him again filled her with happiness but the thought that this might be the last time sent a shiver running through her body.