The Great Fallen (jensoo)

xi. rompre

xi. rompre

JENNIE+

There was only one rule in racing. You live with speed. It is never too much, it is always enough. You should outrun every road. Make a swift drift every corner. Make your wheels burn every grain of dirt.

You rust your bolts. Boil your engine. Veins on the steer. Free from the breaks. Because once speed becomes something you can't control? Then you will never be worthy of its alliance.

It was never the question of who's faster, it was always about who controlled greater.

Speed only becomes your enemy when you dismantle its nature. Speed changes the magnitude of things. It does not ravage nor destroy. You take speed without crashing or hurting anyone along the way. You let your own speed change you and not others. For they have their own to take.

And I thought I have it all under control—I've got a polished road and both hands on wheel, but I just took casualty at every corner. All because of my selfishness. All the people I cared for just crashing against my acceleration. I hated to admit it, but I needed the break, before I even break more people.

I have a relationship with Kai and I didn't respect that, regardless of the amplitude we have. I still cheated. There was no escape route this time. I just had to face the dead-end that I have driven myself into.

 I took myself to Kai's mansion, up on the south. I heard my own heart race the same speed as my running. 

I needed to see him. 

I wanted to say sorry. Even it didn't matter to him anymore. I have wounded Kai enough.

Thankfully his guards led me in and told me that I could find him at his backyard garden. And I did. He was standing firmly with a burning pit in front of him, both of his hands on his waist pockets.

With slow steps forward I observed. What was burning? Why does it smell expensive?

As I took a closer look and have finally stood far beside him, I immediately saw what was burning on the pit, "Is that?—" A confound look took over me as I watch the designer clothes burn. I suspected it was Chanel but I have not seen those types of pieces before.

"W-why is it on fire?" I asked with fidget nerves, as if it will bring back those expensive ashes into clothes again.

"It was supposed to be an anniversary gift. Even begged the creator to sell it to me." He even managed to pin a dark jest, while his eyes were as intense as the flames burning before us. 

This brought me back to reality, and why it deserved to be on flames in the first place.

"Who told you?" I somber in shame. I've been wanting to figure out how he knew. Did Krystal play a role in this? 

"Does it really matter?" The dejection on his tone spiked nerves down my spine.

The mood swiftly changed, I had to face the barren ground as more shame creep below my shoulders. 

He's right, who am I to complain about a replaceable fabric when I've destroyed the man who only wanted my love. Even if we agreed that it was a deal to only make us as publicity. I knew he wouldn't listen to me. You cannot command a stubborn heart. Weighing all of my negligence of his feelings. I still hold accountable for his hurt because I took him captive in the first place. With this, I heard my heart clench as I carefully uttered, "Kai, I'm sorry I—"