You Before Me [dave east]

| thirty five

Xiomara;

"Cumpleaños feliz! Cumpleaños feliz! Te deseamos todos cumpleaños feliz!"

My abuelita walked in through door. She held a birthday cake alit with dozens of candles while half of my family followed behind her into the bedroom. I forced a smile on my face even though celebrating was the last thing on my mind, having just been staring blankly at the wall mere seconds ago as I underwent birthday blues.

"Happy birthday, Xiomara!" They all exclaimed as I got out from bed in my sweatpants and a tank top. I only just got out of the shower.

"Wow, thanks guys." I said laughing, trying to play off how I really felt.

"Do you like the cake, mi nieta? I baked it myself." Abuelita says, showing me my cake. "From scratch," she didn't forget to add which makes me chuckle.

"And we're not about to forget about those 24 candles that I put in by myself. Took longer than you would think too." Mía flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"It's beautiful guys, thank you."

"Time to make a wish." José says, throwing and catching Maya in the air as she squealed in a fit of giggles.

"My wish is about to be for you not to drop my baby cuz' you 'bouta deal with me." I say, making everybody in the room laugh. I wasn't expecting them to react but it made me smile nonetheless.

My eyes rolled playfully as I bent over to blow out my candles. All 24 of them.

I didn't really make a wish but Dave did cross my mind. I was a little bummed that I wasn't allowing myself to spend my 24th with my husband. Maybe that was what was making up my birthday blues.

"¡Maravilloso [wonderful]!" Abuelita exclaimed once I finished putting out the candles. I chuckle grabbing Maya from José so I could hold her. It was now 2 o'clock but I hadn't seen my baby since I woke up. I had woke up fairly late.

"Te deseamos todos un feliz cumpleaños, Xiomara [we all wish you a happy birthday]." My tía tells me as she walks over, holding my face in her palms. "Every year, you look more and more just like your mother, mi sobrina [my niece]. I love you."

"I love you too."

I exchange words with everybody else, all my tíos, tías and cousins as they hand me my gifts before they all filed out of the room. The only person who lingered behind was my abuelita after she gave the cake to Mía to go put in the kitchen.

"No parece un cumpleaños muy feliz. [doesn't look like a very happy birthday]" She commented suddenly. I felt her staring at my back as I turned around to place down the last gift on top of the dresser.

"What do you mean?" I asked. My grandma had a good eye but I didn't think she'd be able to detect how upset I really was behind the front I was putting up.

"You can fool everybody else, but you cannot fool your abuelita. It's 2p.m and you've been sitting in here all day. And where is your birthday outfit? You haven't even attempted to look good for your special day." She said, tugging at my sweatpants making me roll my eyes. "Que pasa? What is going on? Why are you not with your husband?"