Chapter Nine

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Jess

I grab a good, white piece of paper and set it before everyone on the kitchen table.

"Let's get started!" Ashley says, folding the paper into a card shape and starting to draw flowers on the corners of the cover.

I grab a colored marker from the pile that Chris set out and write, "Thank You, Mr. and Mrs. Washington."

Mike rubs my shoulders from behind me. "Good thinking, Jess. They need to know how much we appreciate them and the good memories they have allowed us to make."

"We made lots of mistakes," Emily says, "but we also did have a lot of joy. The Washingtons were, and always will be, a great family."

We all look wide-eyed at Emily and she shrinks back, realizing that she was probably too nice. I roll my eyes, but make sure that she doesn't see me do it. My days of fighting with Emily are over. I just wish we could make up...

Chris is standing behind his girlfriend who is still drawing flowers in different colors of colored pencils. "Uh, Ash. What can I do?"

Ashley doesn't even look up. "Polka-dots, Chris?"

He nods. "Right. Polka-dots."

"Uh, I'll help you," Mike offers, awkwardly grabbing a colored pencil.

Matt grabs another color. "Ditto."

I giggle. Emily and I wait for the guys and Ashley to finish the cover. Aside from some weirdly shaped circles, the cover looks amazing.

Chris opens the card to the inside and turns to Emily with a smirk on his face. "Hey, Em, you should write the message inside."

"Dang it," Emily whispers. "I shouldn't have gone soft." Then, to Chris, she says, "Uh, no thanks."

Everyone stares at her until she gives in.

Emily grabs a purple marker. "Okay, fine."

She writes, "Thank you" and then puts the marker down.

Matt gives her a look and she picks it back up again, muttering something under her breath. Emily positions herself so that we can't see what she is writing, but when she's done and moves away, her message reads, "Thank you. Thank you for being a part of our childhood. Thank you for allowing us to make good memories with your children, Hannah, Beth, and Josh. Thank you for bringing them into this world in the first place. We're very sorry that we hadn't been the best friends to your children. We are so sorry. We made some mistakes, but just know that we are sorry. Also know that their deaths were not your fault. You were good parents. Thank you for everything. Let us know if there's anything we can do for you. We're sorry for your loss. Be assured that Beth, Hannah, and Josh will never be forgotten."

"Em," Matt breathes, "it's beautiful."

He looks up to find Emily crying. He wraps her in a big hug and I feel a bit of pity for her. Sure, she's mean and we haven't gotten along, but she suffered along with the rest of us that night.

While Matt tries to calm down Emily, the rest of us sign the card and leave personal messages on the next page, starting with Chris and Sam.

Once that is finished, Ashley puts one flower at the start and end of Emily's message. Finally, she turns to the back of the card and looks up. "What should we do here?"

Everyone is silent for a moment, thinking up ideas.

After a moment, I speak up. "Maybe we should put hearts on the back of it? And then put like, 'Thinking of you' above them?"

Ashley nods, smiling. "I like that idea, Jess."

"I do too," Sam agrees, picking up a colored pencil and beginning to help Ashley draw.

When they finish the hearts, I write the message above them in purple marker.

With the boxes looked through and the card made, it is already dinner time.

"You guys can stay here for dinner if you want, guys," Chris suggests. "Ashley and I would be happy to have you."

Ashley nods her affirmation.

I look to Mike, awaiting his answer.

"Thank you, but I think Jess and I should take a break and catch up. I've missed her voice," he says.

I smile.

Chris nods in understanding. "What about you, Matt and Emily?"

Matt looks at Emily to get her silent feedback and replies, "I think we should take a break too and go home. Let's all meet up in the morning or something."

"Sounds good," Chris agrees. "Sam?"

Sam looks at me, giving me a smile and turning back to Chris. "I'll stay for dinner. I don't want to be alone yet and I can't let Jess and Mike take me back with them. I know they need some time."

Chris claps. "Awesome! Alright! It's settled!"

"Breakfast at me and Emily's place tomorrow?" Matt asks.

Everyone nods.

Then, little by little, we get our shoes and coats, saying our goodnights and leaving into the cool, brisk air. When I watch Mike carry our boxes to the car, I can't help but be filled with wonder. Things that used to be Josh, Hannah, and Beth's are in those boxes. Pieces of who they were are in those boxes. And even though we contributed to the unfortunate event that caused their deaths, we were allowed to have remnants of them.

I just wish I had the opportunity to tell them all that I'm sorry. I really hope they didn't die mad at us.

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