Mafia Runner

Chapter Twelve

12.

Breaking the surface of the water, I took a heaping gulp of air before sinking back to the bottom of the pool.

I couldn't hear anything besides my steady heartbeat through my ears and the small bubbles escaping my nose. There was something calming about being submerged in water. It allowed me time to think without being distracted from the outside world.

My brother was inside, deciding to stay with me after what had happened this morning.

Ironically, I had run into him inside Lucian's home and he had brought me back to our parents' house. Because it had been too convenient, I figured Lucian had called Nick and told him I was wandering around the manor, needing help. I don't know if I should feel insulted that Lucian let me go so easily, or grateful that the man allowed me some distance.

Frankly, distance was what I needed.

After a car ride of silence, I had subjected myself to the pool, not inclined to speak with Nick—or anyone just yet. Outside, the sun was high and bright, its rays casting golden ripples across the pool. Even from the bottom of the pool, the sun greeted me.

Curling my legs together, I sat at the bottom of the pool.

I may have overreacted at Lucian's home. I allowed my temper—my fear—to get the better of me and I didn't stay to listen to Lucian's side of the story. I had hit him. Hard. If he had been the one to do that to me, I would have never spoken to him again.

What made it right for me to throw a fist in Lucian's direction?

At the time, I had been desperate, hurt, and afraid. I didn't know what to do when I was confronted with Lucian's temper, and later, his desperation. And when the usual calm and arrogant underboss showed nothing but raw emotions of vulnerability, I had panicked and acted on instinct.

Lucian had taken his anger out on the furniture.

I had taken my anger out on him.

Who was the better person?

I inhaled water, kicking as I reached the surface once again. I spluttered, inhaling the air ungracefully. With wet, shaking fingers, I combed my hair back from my face and peered across the pool at the diving board.

Despite my regret for hitting Lucian, I didn't regret any of my other actions.

The meeting in Gabriele's office had been—well—it was a situation I would never put myself through again. I had felt so vulnerable, so naked. To Gabriele, I had been nothing but Lucian's next play-thing, his boy-toy. The disgrace and the dishonor I'd felt standing there under the words of scorn...

While I hadn't stayed long enough for Lucian to defend himself, I had always doubted being in a relationship with him. The situation that transpired today just proved I did not belong in Lucian's world. I would be nothing but the underboss' new toy. An amusement.

Someone not taken seriously.

I was more than that.

"Afton." Turning around suddenly, I caught sight of Nick standing uncomfortably by the pool. "You've been out here for more than an hour."

"I know," I remarked dryly. Holding up my fingers, I wiggled them in Nick's direction. "I'm starting to prune."

I knew he wouldn't laugh, or even grin at my attempt at humor. Nick's sense of humor had disappeared the day he had joined the mafia. Shadows painted dark circles beneath his eyes and his carefree-smile he had once possessed had straightened out into a thin line.