Mafia Runner

Chapter Seventeen

17.

Lucian and I sat in strained silence as the car drove off.

Both dressed in finery, we were ready to go to a New Year's Eve party, but our mood was hardly in the cheerful spirit. Hell, I don't remember a time Lucian and I were ever in good spirits for a prolonged amount of time. Things always turned out like this.

"We obviously have some trust issues." I stared at the divider between the front and back of the car. Next to me, Lucian was doing a good job trying not to sulk, but I could easily see past his front. He was definitely sulking. "For some strange reason, I believed you when you said there were men after me in California."

Lucian didn't respond.

Like me, he kept his attention straight ahead, a stubborn tick to his jaw.

I turned to look at him, angry.

"Damn it, Lucian. Treat me with a bit of respect." He slowly turned his eyes on me, unimpressed with my outburst. "I may not be in the line of business you are and I may not know a damn thing about it, but I'm not stupid. I feel like a sheep and you're my shepherd."

"A sheep? A shepherd?" Lucian murmured, amused.

Frowning, I didn't see how any of this was funny. "Whatever you want from me, I seem to do it whether subconsciously or not. You manipulate—"

"I don't manipulate you."

"Bullshit!" I hissed. "There must have been a reason why you told me there were men after me. Why?" Before he could answer, I answered for him. "You did it to deliberately scare me. You thought I would rather hide away at the Romano manor for protection than live my own life. Are you really that selfish, Lucian?"

He stared at me and his eyes—as well as the rest of his expression—turned hard and unreadable. The underboss then turned away from me to stare out the window.

I sat there, dumbstruck.

Lucian had completely closed himself off from this discussion.

"Fine," I started airily, "we can have the superficial relationship you're obviously looking for. We can fuck each other at night and then go to nice, flashy gatherings during the day. Who the hell cares about feelings and compromise? Trust is overrated anyway. And here I believed you when you said I was different from your other lovers. I never imagined that would be a lie as well."

He snapped his neck around and his fist descended toward me. I watched as it closed in, taken aback that he would actually hit me.

However, the fist flew past my cheek and slammed against the seat next to my head.

"Shut up," he whispered threateningly. "You know that's not true." His face loomed closer to mine so we were only inches apart. "You don't understand," he suddenly said, losing his temper and replacing it with hopelessness.

My own temper doused. I knew why Lucian had lied to me but that didn't mean it made things alright. Nevertheless, I pitied him and I knew we had to work through this together. He needed to admit why he lied and he needed to hear reassurances.

"What don't I understand?" I pressed quietly.

Lucian leaned away again, settling into his corner of the backseat.

"You know," I started coolly, "I always see you as resilient and capable of accomplishing anything. Sometimes it's intimidating to be with someone like that. You never show vulnerability. You once told me that you felt as if you could be yourself around me. So why don't you trust me to open up?"