A Round Trip to Love 2: Separate Routes

Chapter Twenty

Today I past by a stall along the road selling grilled calamari and remembered that someone likes it.

I used to forbid him from eating such cheap and unhygienic street foods, so he would act like he did not care, but still snuck a look out of the corner of his eye, and then walk away full of grievances.

He obviously has always been just a child, but he insists on pretending to be a big man in front of me.

I thought about it, pulled over to the side of the road, went over and bought a few skewers, sprinkling a generous coating of chili and cumin powder all over them.

If he saw it, he would be very happy.

But I know he won't be able to see it.

"Mr. Lu, here you are again." Someone smiled at me, her face unfamiliar.

I nodded.

"It's rare to see someone this punctual every day."

I nodded faintly again.

I have always been anti-social to everyone, except for that man.

"It is much colder today." I went into the room and closed the door, "I brought the coat I bought for you, this style suits you, I just don't know if you like the color."

He did not respond. Just like when he used to give me the cold shoulders when he is mad at me.

"Bought you durian ..... it really stinks." I murmured, "Why do you like to eat this stuff, wouldn't the smell make you dizzy?"

While this offensive fruit is sitting in the car, I swear I almost had an accident from passing out just by smelling it.

"And this grilled squid ..... it's really unhygienic, so take this as an exception, no next time ...... "I opened the takeaway boxes and left them on the table, "I even added a lot of spices, just the way you like it ...... so if you want to eat it, get up now."

Dead silence in the room.

Him lying peacefully on the bed remains quiet and unmoving.

"If you don't get up today, you won't get a second chance to have these."

My threats fell flat.

Sighing, I took off my coat and sat down on the edge of the bed, I placed my hand gently on his face: "If you carry on not eating, you will only get thinner and thinner ...... Okay, I won't rush you then ...... Let's continue with our storytelling first, and when we're done, you can get up, okay?"

"Where was I yesterday?" I tapped my forehead lightly with my index finger, '' Yes, we were talking about Xiao Luo, correct? When I first met him I got a shock, he looked exactly like that woman."

"You remember that woman, I have already mentioned the other day, but I can't remember her name either, her family name should be Ke ...... Have I not told you that her eyes look just like yours? A long shaped, single eyelids, looks honest and down to earth, when the corner of her eyes lit up it looks just like a fox ...... but a little dumber than a fox, how can you be as cunning as a fox ......."

My fingers brushed across his tranquil closed eyes.

Why do you not open your eyes and just take one look at me?

"She begged me to sleep with her. You know I would never be attracted to a woman ...... but those eyes of hers ...... took one look at me and it reminded me of you."

"After sleeping with her I left, but she kept following me, coming up with various attempts to keep me. She told me she was pregnant." I paused, trying to recall that woman's light, mournful face, "But I left her anyway. She did not mean anything to me, she isn't you."

"So you can guess by now, Xiao Luo is my child." I chuckled, "I never thought I'd ever have a son ...... it's such an odd feeling ...... I felt a pang of heartache when I saw him, he is my son ...... there's a piece of me flowing in him ......"

A little stuck with the choice of appropriate words.

"Well, I am not sure how to put it, but you should be able to understand, right?" I cast a trusting glance at the unresponsive guy on the bed, "I love him as much as you love Zhuo Wen Yang. I even gave him the jade pendant. He is the eldest male offspring of the Lu family after all. But ......."

I laughed at myself, "I haven't told him I'm his father. Isn't it better just to be an uncle to him? He trusts me so much, is naturally so close to me, he told me, 'If only you were my father', do you know, how contented I was just to hear that."

"One day Xiao Luo came to me to ask if my company is looking to recruit, he said he met an uncle who is a rare talent, and his last name is Cheng, named Yi Chen."

I lowered my head to caress his cold face again: "How my heart jolted at that, would you ever understand?"

"It's been twenty long years ...... I have lost all hope, but you had to appear in front of my eyes again. I thought to myself, the time for revenge has finally come. From the day you disappeared I've been obsessing about how I can get back at you ...... I abandoned everything, I only wanted to be with you. I came back from the States empty-handed and penniless, but you were no where to be found ......" I laughed bitterly, recalling the devastation I went through during that time, "...... I waited twenty years."

"But when I saw you," I held his head gently against my chest, "...... the first thing that actually came to mind was, you've lost so much weight, are you not living a good life?"

"How you looked like in the past, I have never once forgotten, I remember every detail of you so clearly ......"

"Then by chance I met Zhuo Wen Yang. He has the exact same face as I remembered of you. So I checked up on Zhuo Lan. I finally understood why I could never find you no matter what means I used to search, because at that time you belonged to the Zhuos."

"You left me just to marry her ...... did you really ...... abandon me just because I am no longer the second master of the Lu family?"

I paused, and looked at my watch, "Let's call it a day, you are not going to wake up today?"

He is silent.

"Okay, I know. Then I'll come back to see you tomorrow."

This sort of monologue, had been the norm of my daily routine for the past year.

I spent a year telling him about my life for the past twenty years.

I spoke calmly, and he listened quietly. This is considered a kind of bliss too. When we were younger, this is exactly how we envisioned our older years to be like; the two of us leaning against each other sitting on a park bench, chatting. The only slight difference now is that he has fallen asleep accidentally, leaving me behind to stroke his hair while muttering to myself.

Actually this way, really, is good too.