A Round Trip to Love 2: Separate Routes

Chapter Twenty

It had been raining up a storm since I woke up in the morning, and traffic had been nothing short of horrendous. There was even a road accident along the way, with all these delays I nearly could not make it to the hospital at the usual time.

Speeding recklessly and weaving in and out of traffic are dangerous things to do indeed, it is better to avoid doing that too frequently.

I cannot help but wonder though, if I had gotten myself killed in an accident, will I get to meet him somehow, somewhere?

Actually, death does not matter. It can be a great relief when your life has been a long stretch of emptiness.

As he laid in my arms, lifeless and covered in blood, I am convinced, that it is better for me to die too.

However, the bullet did not hit him squarely in the heart.

According to the doctors, the surgery is a success , and he is out of danger, but they were not sure why he fell into a coma.

He never woke up from the surgery. Or maybe he is refusing to wake up.

I cannot say I fully understand what all these mean, but I think he should still be alive.

So I just have to wait. I will wait to see if he wakes up, or I will wait until I am sure he will never wake up again.

"It's raining today, are you planning on waking up?" I summoned a tender smile at his calm expressionless face, "You've really slept for a long time, even if you are still sleepy, you should get up for a bit and do some exercise.""

"The turnover for my company this year is ten percent higher than last year's," I said, a little smugly, "I'm good, aren't I? As long as it is something I want to get, I'm sure to achieve it."

Except for you.

I have never pined for something as much in my life, but no matter how desperately hard I work for it, I lost it in the end.

This is why sometimes I feel that this is really good too.

You are so obedient and so quiet lying there, not running off everywhere, and not saying you hate me again. You will not resist anything I do to you, as if you belong to me completely now, and you are finally, finally mine.

So at times I feel like I do not mind waiting a little longer.

However at other times I get very scared. I am already in my forties ...... I'm not young anymore ...... I might still have twenty years to wait for you ...... but what if, until my last day, you still have not woken up? What do I do then? Would it not be better to leave now?

But I still want to hear you talking to me.

Whatever it is you want to say.

Even if all you can ever say to me again is "I hate you".

I would love to hear your voice, and see your smiles ...... I have not seen your smile in over twenty years.

It has really been too long.

"My hate for you eats at my heart every single day, it is ingrained in my soul and it made me want to torture you without any mercy, I want to hurt you, to break you, to make you suffer like you did to me. It seems like I have succeeded ...... but I could not stop my urge to touch you. I did invite Zhuo Wen Yang over that day, but I only planned to insult and shame you to his face." I laughed bitterly, "When would I ever be so generous as to casually allow others to look at your body ...... That one time I drugged you to make you touch Lin Jing, I was racked with heartache for so many days. It's safe to say the jealousy is still there, as raw and as scary as ever, isn't it funny?"