PRESENT DAY
"Yeah so I guess that's it's really, dad finally lost it and attacked me, I mean he's done it a couple of times before but I just saw that look in his eyes and I knew the next time I might not be so lucky to just get away with a punch," I tell Hope finishing off explains what happened the night before leaving out most of what he used to do. She didn't need to know that.
"I don't really know what to say" Hope replies looking at me a bit starstruck
"There's isn't anything to say, I just need a place to crash for a bit until I head off to college, I can pay you with all the money I've got left and get a job here while I'm at it" I tell her just wanting somewhere with a roof over my head.
"Y-youre going to college already?" She asks shocked. God, this is so awkward.
"I am Hope, a scholarship to Stanford actually," I tell her, trying to not get annoyed over the fact she didn't know, how could she.
"You got a scholarship, for what exactly?" She asks again
"Soccer" I reply reluctantly
"Soccer? I didn't know you played soccer anymore I thought you gave it up, when I left" Hope says the last part barely above a whisper
"Wait? How do you know about me stopping soccer, the only person who knows that is Bailey?" I ask her confused
"you're my little sister Elena, when I left I made sure to keep track of you and what you were up to, a friend of mine said you quit soccer the day after I left," She tells me a sad almost disappointed look on her face like she has a right to be upset
"Don't give me that look, Hope, you don't have a right to be mad in this situation you're the one to walk out on me and leave me with those animals" I say the anger in me bubbling back up
"I tried to keep an eye on you Lennie, I made sure to have friends check up on you but you moved and nobody could find out where you went, your name didn't come up in any school systems, you just vanished" She tells me and I just let out a scoff in response
"Yeah well what did you expect Hope, the one person I looked up to as a role model and big sister abounded me like I was nothing, I was 8 Hope, how was an 8-year-old supposed to grow up in a home like that." I tell her finishing myself standing up to shout at he now
"And the reason I disappeared is that I changed my name when we went to the new school, I told them to put me down in the system as Elena Carter instead, I didn't want to share the same last name as you," I say to her bitterly, maybe a little too harshly but can you blame me.
"Look I'm sorry for leaving El but I couldn't stay in there anymore, you didn't know what they were doing to me," She says trying to make out like she didn't have a choice
"Bull. Shit!" I shout back throwing my hands up in the air in frustration
"Maybe they did treat you badly Hope but you were 19 and I was 8 it's not like I could choose to run away too, you had friends in college you could stay with I didn't even understand half the shit that went on because to me it was normal" I rant out, pacing around the room at this point
"Now that's fucked up, imagine actually thinking that everything that went on in that house was normal, that every other family had a parent with anger issues and drinking problems or a parent with gambling issues." I tell her
"do you not think that I don't regret my decision everyday Elena! Because I do! So fucking much, I wake up from nightmares constantly about them hurting you and killing you and about how I should have saved you too. But if I'd taken you with me I wouldn't have been able to care for you, I was a mess myself, drinking too much getting in trouble with the police, you would have ended up in the foster system and taken God knows where away from your friends at school and your life" She explains to me both us standing face to face with the other
"But you didn't try Hope that's the problem, you gave up without even bothering, you preached all the time to me how to never give up on what you believe, you have to work for what you want and do anything to get it to happen, was I not good enough for that, was I not worth enough to you, your own sister" I ask her in disbelief all my feelings over the last decade finally coming out
"I was scared El! You were 8 and still growing up as a child I didn't want to turn into the parents I was running so far away from, I didn't want to become mom and dad and take my anger and frustrations out on someone as innocent as you, I fucked up leaving you there I know and if I could go back and do it differently I would but I can't and I have to live with that" She tells me, and I can see the tears welling in her eyes something I know Hope never does.
"All I wanted was for you to tell me it would all be okay Hope, hug me in bed when they had one of the trips or practice with me in the garden, I just wanted my big sister to keep me safe," I say breaking down myself now
Hope is quick to pull me into her arms and I stiff up at first not having expected any physical contact between us but I soon relax into the familiar touch having missed it all too much.
"I've got you now and I promise to not fuck up ever again, I can keep you safe and they can't hurt us here, not while I'm around," She tells me as I let the waterworks out into her top
All these years I've resented her for something that when it comes down to it, she had no control over the situation either. I know she fucked up but she does too and I guess that makes a part of me feel better about it all and not hate the living guts out of her but she's got a lot to do to make things up to me, I'm not letting her in that easily.
"I really don't want to break up this nice family moment but breakfast is ready and it's getting cold" I hear Kelley say from behind us spending incredible awkward.
I let out a wet chuckle as my sister just rolls her eyes at her girlfriend but neither the less we break apart and look at a sheepish Kelley standing there staring at us.
"We've got plenty for all three of us, Kelley always makes too much food," Hope says leading me into the kitchen
"That is not true! I find a way to eat it all every time" She says in defence making me laugh
"You do Kelley and then you're stuck in a food coma on the sofa for the rest of the day," Hope says in response
"Whatever Hopey, It's nice to finally meet you, Elena, Hope talks about you all the time," Kelley says turning to give me a hug this time
"You too Kelley, I'm a bit of a fan actually," I say scratching my neck a little awkwardly
"Wait, really?" Hope asks me in suprise
"I mean yeah, why did you think I chose to go to Stanford in fall," I say making Kelley gasp
"You're going to Stanford! That's so cool I'll have to tell you about all the secrets there" Kelley says excitedly to me
"I haven't even gotten you back for an hour and my girlfriend is already stealing you," Hope says chilling as I listen intently to what Kelley has to tell me.
YOU ARE READING
Reaching For the Stars
FanfictionWhen you're abandoned growing up by the people closet to you, you figure out pretty quickly that the only one looking out for you, is you. Elena Solo, known by everyone else as Elena Carter, was close to her sister Hope when she was growing up, but...
