𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 - 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

I DON'T NEED IT

i scrunched up my face at the odor of the young teenage bodies in the hallway, sighing as everyone crowded around each other, trying to get through and to the classes.

headphones in ear, and music blasting as loud as it could, i shook my head at all the commotion just from everyone trying to get to class, and i was taken aback by a body slamming into mine, knocking my headphones out of my ears.

i furrowed my eyebrows angrily, spinning around quickly to see who had done it, to see a girl from one of my classes, worriedly looking at me with wide eyes and clutching her books close to her chest.

"excuse you." i shouted, before sending a wild mass of swings at her, hitting her with all my might and not stopping or letting up.

i was seeing red, blinded with anger, when i was pulled off of her body by the security guards, who i knew were tired of having to break up situations like this every week.

they dragged me away from her, and i felt my chest heaving roughly with every upset breath, frustrated and stressed.

they stopped me in front of the doors of the nurses office, one of them speaking into a walkie talkie, before they opened the doors and walked me in.

"fucking wannabe policemen." i huffed, yanking myself free of their grip and forcing myself into the nurses office, before frustratedly sitting in one of the chairs.

neither responded, instead turned to the nurse and exchanged a few words with her before walking out, and i pulled off my backpack, which had remained on my back the entire time, before throwing it at the ground.

"you know you can't beat up everyone that bumps into you, right?" she spoke calmly, and i rolled my eyes at her words without responding.

i went to the small fridge in the corner, pulling out a water bottle and easily chugging the cold water, which cooled off my on-fire body, and seemed to slow my angrily racing heart.

the nurse stood from her seat, approaching me calmly and quietly, before crossing her arms in front of me. "have you taken your medicine?"

i rolled my eyes, once again, and scrunched up my face. "i don't need it! i don't hear voices in my
head anymore," i said truthfully, crossing my arms.

"but if i take the medicine, it'll just make them come back."

she shook her head, before heading to the filing cabinets full of medication, which let me know she wasn't going to listen to anything i said, and i was going to end up having to take the medicine.

"i don't want it." i complained, my voice full of anger and frustration.

"but you need it." the nurse countered, which made me huff frustratedly before sitting back in my chair.

i would've argued much more, but i refrained from it, instead just continuing to sip at the water. she came in front of me, with the pill bottle, and waited for me to extend my hand so she could pour a pill into it, but i just stared at her.

"aracely, we can do this two ways. you can take the pill yourself, or someone can make you take it. please cooperate." she said firmly, which made me roll my eyes and extend my hand.

the last time i was physically forced to take my medication, it took three security guards to hold me down, while one nurse had to force the pill into my mouth and make me swallow it.

i shuddered at the memory.

she poured a pill from the bottle into my hand and then closed the bottle, staring down at me, meaning she was waiting for me to take it in front of her, and i mugged her as i tossed the pill of compazine into my mouth.

i exaggerated my swallow, before washing it down with some water and still mugging her, while she only smiled fakely and then turned around to put the pill bottle back in the filing cabinet.

"i hate you." i said lowly, but loud enough for her to hear, and i went over to one of the little couch beds at the back of the office and laid myself down on it.

she laughed slightly, before she spoke. "for a 14 year old, what do you know about hating people?"

i rolled my eyes, but didn't respond, and instead then forced my eyes shut and forced myself to try to sleep, knowing i had no intention of going back to any of my classes for the rest of the day, and just wishing for this day to be over.

i never understood why it was okay for everyone else to fight, or for my aunts and uncles, and cousins to do it but when i did it i got in trouble.

it never made sense to me, and i doubted it ever would, but all i wanted now was some peace, and i knew taking this medicine could make the voices return, granting me the exact opposite of the peace i wanted.

and as if on cue, i heard a voice clear its throat before speaking in my head. "hey hey hey, we missed you!"

i sighed, and squeezed my eyes shut even tighter, praying i'd sleep soon.

~