Picking up The Pieces

What The Hell We Gone Do Now?

Thanks everyone so much for your patience!! We all know 2020 has been one hell of a fuckin year. If you have been waiting, you'll probably want to go back to the last chapter lmao, sorry! Entire chapter is from Victoria's POV

The car ride to brunch is silent. I watch the trees fly by as I stare out of the window. That was code for, "don't talk to me." Bobby knew that. 

Communication was null. There had been nothing but stolen glances that I would catch out of the corner of my eye, and some occasional humming. I wouldn't go as far as to say it was uncomfortable but it surely wasn't a tempur pedic. 

Neither of us desired to fill such a large void with hastily picked, small, floral words that had no thought behind them. A rushed attempt would just make things worse, and I think we both wanted to avoid any more tension. I know I'd had enough of that for a lifetime myself.

Unfortunately, car rides like this weren't a rarity between us. I think we had gotten used to being upset with eachother before I moved. So used to it that we forgot it wasn't normal to be constantly annoyed with your partner. Had it not been for last night, I would have forgotten what it feels like to be genuinely content with him around.

I knew how this would work because it was the same story every time. Both parties would tiptoe around one another until someone was bold enough to speak up, and when they did it would be forworded with an apology. Usuaully a genuine one. Sometimes not.

I kept replaying last night and this morning in my head. I continued pushing the rewind button because I didn't have the heart to fast forward to now. Then we would be forced to speak. 

The longer I sat, the more I began to feel like I was being too hard on him. 

Is that ridiculous? I definitely wasn't coerced into what we did, but these hickeys were a bloody inconviniece. It's as simple as that. 

If honesty is the best policy, I didn't want him to stop. That's pretty obvious. He literally told me he was going to kiss me, the opportunity to stop him was right there, and I didn't even consider it because I didn't want to.

I was just so mad for letting myself go. You know how sometimes you can be too selfish for your own good? I think it's called self sabotage. Yea, I was doing alot of that lately. I don't think I considered how I would feel today because I was so willing to trade today's feelings for yesterdays orgasm. For temporary love to fill a permenant space twice its size.  

I literally forgot everything that happened between us, because of one touch. That's how I got myself into this shit with him in the first place, because he could fuck me and I'd forget as quickly as I came and that's pretty damn quick. 

"I'm sorry," I huff, more upset with myself than him after giving things some thought.

"For what?" 

"Blowing up on you earlier. I'm not that angry about the fact that I have a few hickeys. It's honestly not even that serious, I don't care about them actually being there. I care about people seeing them. I'm just worried about the shit storm that we're about to face. I made it a little bit too much about me, you're involved too. There's going to be so much speculation."

"But you were right, it is about you, and I want you to stop considering my feelings so much in this. Think about it, what could they write about me in the headlines? What could they even say? Bobby got in bed with a beautiful woman?" 

I laugh.

One of the sick parts about being a woman versus being a man is your sexuality being looked at like they're two completely different things. Women are looked at as if they are conquests, and men are rewarded for sleeping around, but women are looked down upon once they help fulfill a mans conquests. I don't understand considering, women sleep with who they want, men sleep with who they can. Like come on, you think we willingly like men? It's hard.