Phantom Pain [BL - SaifahZon] //COMPLETED//

Helpless - Part 2

"So let me get this right, you developed feelings for a person from your dream, yes? For someone who does not exist?" Saifah put down the tray and sat across the table. After long persuasions, he finally convinced Zon to grab something to eat. He couldn't stand this miserable look on his face any longer and he could hear Zon's stomach growling weakly several times. He wasn't sure if a public place was a good choice, but even though Zon was dragging his feet and his face was still cloudy, he didn't stop opening up.

"No, the person is real. But I don't know them well. I can't tell if I really do like them or if I only like my vision of–of them."

Saifah tried his best not to sound judgemental. He didn't understand Zon's confusion, neither couldn't he imagine having such a realistic dream, but if Zon felt it was real, it must've been real. For him.

"What if you try to get to know them, then? Maybe you will fall for real this time?"

Zon, who was playing with his food instead of eating, froze suddenly and looked at him. Saifah couldn't tell what was behind his eyes, but he started to feel uneasy. Why was his stare so intense? Who swept Zon off his feet so badly?

"It's too painful." Zon bit his lip turning it crimson red. "They already have someone."

Saifah didn't know the feeling of falling for someone already taken, but he did know the feeling of having a hopeless crush. He took a glance at Zon and cracked a smile.

"Then, you need to move on. As soon as you find someone else, it's gonna be easier." That was a lie. Saifah couldn't stop thinking about his crush even though he had a girlfriend. When they first started dating, he truly believed his affection would pass and he actually did like the girl. But as time passed, it turned out she was not the one for him and he was not the one for her. They got stuck together hoping one day they would indeed feel love for each other.

But even when they had better days, the feelings for his crush were still there, making its presence known at the least expected moments. Every time he finally thought he got over it, something happened, reminding him how hopeless the situation was. He couldn't even count how many sleepless nights he spent thinking 'what if'. Maybe he wasn't any better than Zon with his delusions?

"Did you ever love someone so much it was painful to look at them?" asked Zon. Their eyes met for an instant, but Zon quickly averted his gaze away. "Nevermind, forget it."

"I do," admitted softly Saifah. "I mean, I did."

His quick correction made Zon peer at him suspiciously for a few long seconds but he didn't say anything. It was weird to talk about it with Zon – Zon, who just a few days back would bite his head off for even speaking in his presence or looking at him with a smirk. This dream really had shaken him up. But Saifah didn't mind. It was a nice change.

"I guess I'm gonna go. Thanks for hearing me out. You're not that bad after all, huh?" A ghost of a smile appeared on Zon's lips. "But don't think we're friends yet. I still– Hate you."

There was tension in Zon's voice that reassured Saifah that he was still not feeling completely comfortable around him. He nodded goodbye and went back to eating. Zon's plate was still full of food, he just touched everything and moved it around in order to look like he actually ate something. Saifah sighed heavily. Today he saw a completely different part of Zon's nature and even if he found it interesting, he wished to see dimples on his face again. Or pursed lips and furrowed brows. In some way, he actually missed their bickering now.

He looked at his phone and noticed a notification. A small smile brightened his face. Zon's sister updated her novel a few minutes ago and that was exactly what he needed now. It might've been silly and far from reality, but he found it highly entertaining and couldn't stop reading. Ever since he read Zol's fiction he was wondering how well she knew her brother and how accurate were the descriptions.

And sometimes, in moments like this, he genuinely wanted to find everything out.

A/N: I guess it turnes out to be a series. I hope I didn't destroy the atmosphere I created in Part 1 and you still like it.
That's the end of "Helpless" - part 2 of "Phantom Pain" series.