SPACE ;; TAEGGUK

thirty

this chapter is taehyung's perspective!! we made it guys ilysm. also, I was super emo writing this lmao

;;

jeon jeongguk was art.

an angel, a god crafted
infinite piece of perfection
bestowed upon them
from the heavens. ethereal,
untouchable and divine.
there to observe and admire
and respect. art to be
praised and worshipped
and adored from a distance,
never to be tampered with,
never something to cross the
line, there wasn't a line to
cross if you were still at the
point of being respectful.

respect.

taehyung was disrespectful.

he'd messed with this
art, this privilege he'd been
granted with, he'd stepped
too far onto forbidden
territory, crossed this definitive
boundary. there was no
going back after everything
he'd done.

he was so selfish.

from the very first day,
he'd told himself, respect,
respect, respect.

and what respect had
he given him? he'd touched
him without a second
thought.

he'd touched
him.

his wrist, his neck,
his hand,
his hair.

his heart.

taehyung had sinned
beyond anything
he could ever comprehend
and for that, he hated
himself with a burning
passion. he hated to see
the glimmer in his perfect
doe eyes as he stared
back at him when he'd
speak. he hated the
crimson blush that dusted
his rose cheeks, the bridge
of his nose, his thin
lips and his strong neck.
he hated the way he hung
onto every word that
taehyung fed him, he
drank it like poison,
his porcelain skin as
pale as could be, drowning
with everything that taehyung
wanted him to hear.

had he manipulated him?

he wasn't too sure.

it felt like it was beyond that.
beyond anything that
he could forgive himself for.

but did he stop?

of course not.

how could he?

how could he stop when
jeon jeongguk was before
him with every ounce of
perfection in his body,
when he held the universe
in his pretty doe eyes,
the galaxies in his laugh,
a glimmer of hope in every
smile, a ember of happiness
with his every word.

his words drove him
crazy, it was funny how
such a boy of his age could
capture such wisdom at the
tip of his tongue, the way he
could shape it and present
it and leave you in awe of him.
more in awe of him than ever
before.

he'd say things in a way that
even taehyung couldn't say,
he'd say things that a sixteen
year old shouldn't be showing
immense interest in, his mind
was creativity beyond imagination.
his words lulled taehyung into
a trance, he was drunk on them,
so hung up, so lust driven
and intoxicated, ruined to the
point that he'd never let go.

he was so, so captivating.

exquisite.

taehyung was scared.

he was afraid
that he needed that perfection.

afraid that he'd drain it from him
like he was a starving, drowning
man and jeongguk
was his oxygen, his air.

he'd take it till there
was nothing left but
a hole in his heart.

a hole that was nothing but
empty space, unable to fill.

unable to repair.

taehyung was so frightened.

"what is it, sweetheart?"

he smiled at him, at the
boy curled up in the chair
beside him, he smiled
at his dusty converse sneakers,
at his soft, curly ebony locks
that brushed his pretty eyes,
at his lips bitten and chapped.
he smiled at the way his hoodie
seemed to drown him, at the
way the younger feverishly
tried to hide the fact that he'd
been staring at taehyung for the past
five or so minutes.

"m'nothing" he mumbled, ducking
his head into the neck rest that
he'd brought with him for the
short flight journey. his ears tinged
red, it happened a lot when he
was nervous. taehyung had noticed
too much about him to be acceptable.

"get some rest."

"it's only an hour to
brussels." he pouted softly.

"it's midnight, darling." the
older male pointed out.

the boy nodded complacently,
listening to him so easily.
he hated that he did. he hated
that he wouldn't argue with him,
that he just did what he was
asked to do. it made taehyung
feel ten times worse than what
he would have felt.

he curled up even tighter,
wrapping the thin blanket that
they were provided with around
him.

lord, he looked so silent
and sound, sleeping so calmly
like that. undisturbed by anything,
powerful, strong, so, so perfect.

his perfection was
incomprehensible, taehyung
wanted to pull his hair out at it,
in a pathetic attempt to
comprehend it. why was it
that he was trying so hard
to comprehend the incomprehensible
in the first place? he shouldn't
be doing that. he should have
been embracing it all. here he was
with the boy of his dreams at
arms reach, he had everything in
the world and he was so happy
and content and so was jeongguk.
jeongguk was so, so happy.
so why was he bothering with
all of this? why was he letting
his thoughts consume him, this
was dangerous.

he was doing
exactly what jeongguk had told
him not to do.

'tying to comprehend
the incomprehensible.'

he'd be a fool not to
listen to him but his
insecurities swarmed him,
strangled him, he was being led
by them.

he wished everything
would stop, wishing he
could escape to a utopia
with him, wishing he could
hold him in his hands without
any boundaries and rules
and things that held them
apart by force. taehyung
had overcome that force on
earth, it was so easy, a fragment
of his imagination that held
the grave consequences that
he'd pushed aside without
a care in the world. he wondered
if it was the same with reality.

whether or not they could
exist together in peace.

it didn't matter.

taehyung had promised him
the time of the boy's life
and that was exactly what
he would give him.

taehyung
was undeserving of happiness.

happiness was jeongguk.

his past flickered with
a dark light, a sullen, sombre
serenity that clouded his
thoughts, every inch of his
skin.

this boy was his light,
his joy, his pain, his
sorrow, his laughter.

he wished so badly,

that he would stay.

_________________

thoughts on Tae? did you think he'd be like this? 😌