It's (he's) Complicated/ Part 1

Chapter 5

I wake up, it's my day off, I got my payment for the week and I have some groceries I need to pick up, James's mother is at the grocery store and forced some of her sons to come with her, so while she's in the meat part, I'm in the fruit and vegetable store, 'are you really going for the healthy approch for my grandsons?' she says, ouch, I ignore her, and put in some earphones, 'going to ignore me?' James knows that hurt me, he just walks around with his mother, 'just please, don't start anything' James says, 'she's is going to raise those kids to be healthy?, not strong, healthy?' his mother says, 'she came here?, okay' 'we know she kicked you out last night' 'we're going to be friends' 'raise 2 kids to have 2 seperate parents, my what a childhood they'll be having' she says, I finish up, and go to the canned food, she comes over, 'you know?, if your into fruits and vegetables?, weird approch?, I raised 5 sons on meat and beer?' she says, 'please, don't try being nice all the sudden?' I say and walk away, she bites on her tongue, 'mum' James warns, 'she is going to poisen those babies' she says, I finally make my way over to the meat section, risoles, and bacon, that's it, 'are you fucking kidding me?' 'she knows what's good for herself' he says, 'not for those babies' she says, I go to check out, 'you know?, we're throwing a little get to together-' 'that's a family thing?, and I don't do gatherings' I say, and move up in the line, 'I really am trying to be nice' 'all the sudden?, 5 weeks ago you tossed water in my face' I say, James didn't know that, '5 weeks ago' she says, 'and you purposely parked next to me so I couldn't get out of the carpark' I say abotu the grocery store parking, 'who parks diagonally?' she says, 'cause the lines show to park diagonally' 'who listens to rules?' 'how about sane people?' I say, we go silent, she moves up her things, my hand moves away from her onions, 'are you scared of onions?' she giggles, 'what?, no?', lie, James bites on his tongue, she can't stop giggling, I pay with a $50, then move everything into the trolly, then I get my receipt and change, then go out to the parking lot, I put everything in the boot, they bring out their 2 trolly's, I put everything in a neat net, and have a sort fence, to stop everything from moving and the net so the fruit and veg don't get bruised, I then bring the trunk down, then go put the trolly pack, 'you shouldn't be driving while your pregnant?' she says, 'yeah?, uh huh?' I say, 'she is seriously going for this approch?' his mother says, 'you tossed water at her face?, and laughed at her for not liking onions?' James says, 'it's hilarious' his mother says, I get in the car, and I manage to swerve my car out, 'she is seriously going to fry those boys' she says, 'mum' he raises his voice a little, she scoffs and they each get in the Ute and go, I'm not driving so fast, easy for his mother to catch up to me, 'this is not the time for road rage' James says when she goes right up my ass, 'you could have told me things about her, before she came here?, then we wouldn't have such a poor relationship' his mother says, I make room for her to go around, 'pussy' she says, she goes around, but I give her the finger, 'bitch' she says and goes reeves her Ute forward, I pull into my driveway, and up to my house, I unpack the groceries and then get some chores done, James's Aunty texts me?, :hey, mind coming over, I have some old baby clothes?. she sends, I shrug, okay?, I was unable to find any, and she remembered, she texts me a address, that's where James's mother lives, :why are you are Patrisha's?. I ask, :I live on their land, please. she sends, :have it ready, I'm just coming by for a quick half a hour. I send, :great. she sends, I pack up, and I park out front, James is wondering why I am here, til his Aunty comes over, 'thank you for coming' she smiles, and hugs me, 'I don't get why your so shy?, don't worry, Patrisha is way too busy in the kitchen' I walk with her, 'other than her?, I have no reason to not come out here' I say, 'I know those sheep miss you' she giggles, I laugh with her, James goes over to the window, James's family are growing wheat here, they have 3 100 acre paddock's for it, and also 200 sheep living on their farm.

It's amazing to think James grew up out here, I go to her place, and we go upstairs, 'so?, these are my baby things' she says, wow?, 'how many kids did you have again?' I ask, she giggles, 'we have 17 miscarriages and 3 boys and 1 girl' she says, wow?, they really wanted children, she goes over to these 3 tubs, 'okay, these clothes have been cleaned, but I know you'll clean them again and again, but they should last until the twins are at least 3 years old, that's when my boys started ruining their clothes with uncleanable messes and ripping their clothes and losing things' she says, 'great' I say, and I take a look, 'okay, shirts, pants, shorts, socks, shoes, neck napkins, long sleeve, shorts sleeves, singlets, Onesie and more shoes, then there is baby bottles, high chair, though I'm pretty sure you'll get all of that anyway', she knows me so well already, 'great?, now, just to get it all to the car?, I could go get someone to help?, it is like 50 degrees today?' she says, 'um?, no, I can handle it' 'are you sure?' 'I was just going to bring my car up?' 'yeah, that is so much easier?' Helen says, Patrisha just has to come over, 'thought you weren't into "family gatherings"?' she says, I ignore her and I open my car door, don't say it, 'but I guess you aren't really "family", your lucky to be even having my grandkids, don't be so rude' she says, there it is, I get in the car, James rushes out, 'Buffy!' he shouts, and rushes for his car as I pull out, his mother took his cars, 'James!, let her go, she'll come back' his mother says, so sure of himself, but she was far from right.

I decide to quit my job, I put all of my money in being here, I block everyone out, for such a long time, til Helen (James's Aunty) decides to give me a visit, I let her in, 'you quit your job?, no one has seen you for weeks' Helen says, 'well, that'll all be over in a little while' .. 'Buffy, this is serious, you've managed to convince the police department to not let James visit, you've shut everyone out, you didn't make those twins by yourself' Helen says, I make her a cup of coffee, I have some juice since I'm pregnant I can't have caffeine, well not as much as I'm use to, 'I don't know how you pulled it off?, but I do miss your cooking', I get out a custard tart from the fridge, most of it is eaten, I get two plates and I have cut it into slices, we each get a slice, 'I made the department some pastries, but it'll just last for a little while longer, til I get approved for a loan to get out of here' I say, 'what?', ... 'why would you want to get a loan?' she asks, 'to get out of here?, I put everything I had to be here, to be with James, stupid, right?, when Patrisha made it clear that I am not "family", when James was the only family I had for a very long time, it just made it clear just not how welcome I am, I have everything packed, just waiting to hear back?' I say, 'but you can't leave?, why don't you and James just get back to together?, do you really want to raise 2 boys all by yourself?, a single mother?' 'I did consider it, every time I saw him, it was inevitable to think about, but it's just ... he terrifies me?, but in a good way, and a bad way?, like I know he's going to find some stupid way to hurt me' I say, 'he's different out here, he's himself' 'so that guy I've been in love with for over 2 years doesn't really exist?' I say, ... 'you love him?' 'yeah?, .. those feelings don't just go away?, I'd be a cold hearted monster if I felt nothing, he was my everything, and it took too much for him to change, I honestly hate the idea of us being friends, I honestly want him here?, he knows I do, but maybe?, ... he should move on?, we're like bad karma, star-crossed-lovers?, he's perfect, but not for me?' I say, 'you have a weird way of saying you want someone, you can have someone but they are the worst thing in the world for you?' Helen says, I giggle, we finish off the pie, 'if you want you could come over?, later tonight, everyone will be at the bar, I'll stay back, how about we have like a .. personal going away party?' she says, I giggle, 'okay?, but no alcohol' I say, 'I know, you want happy, healthy boys, .... they would be happier with a father' 'and they'd be miserable with 2 fighting parents, sets a bad example for children' I say, she leaves, I clean up, while as she's going to her car, she looks down at her phone, she was recording, she sends it to James, he is already at the bar, everyone is, decided to go early, he looks down at his phone, he presses play and brings it to his ear, he plays it over, before getting up, paying his tab, and going for the door, his mother blocks him, 'uh, uh, no, it's like you giving her power over you, every time she calls you, you go, now go, sit, your sounding desperate' his mother says, James goes to complain, his father moves his arm around James's shoulder and steers him back to the bar, and gets another tab going.

I do decide to go to Helen's, we cook, watch TV, and just have a good time, though she had a feeling it'd be the last time for a long time, And I do end up getting approved, and within 3 days, I was gone, James finally gets to my place and I'm packed up?, he walks around, 'Buffy?!' he calls out and looks all over, I packed a large suitcase for me, and took all of the baby things Helen gave me, he is completely panicking!, I didn't leave anything, not even a note, James curled into a ball, and let his inner conscious and flaws guide him.