Sort Me Out :: Ksimon

Part 4: City of Angels

Simon POV

I could not believe I was doing this,  wrapped up in JJ's jumper and a pair of lose joggers, since I didn't feel comfortable enough to wear shorts. Sat next to JJ in first class on my way to L.A. Thankfully it was a couple of days after he asked me, so I was able to sort out some things before we left. Not so thankfully I was on the verge of panic for two days, my anxiety through the roof since I couldn't stop thinking about what the this trip. 

Now we're here, mid-flight and I couldn't sleep.

It is about three am, at least the last time I checked and JJ was already knocked out. As were most of the middle aged people in first class, save from the few on their laptops, probably working. I tried to distract myself with my phone but I just ended up refreshing JJ's social medias. Obsessing over the comments on his recent post about him on his way to L.A, which he posted before we boarded the plane. He had asked if I wanted to be in the picture he ended up posting with the update, but I just couldn't say yes. Which I know was stupid, people would find out I'm with him and we were mates. There should have been no reason to worry as much as I did about it. 

Even though JJ told me it was calm, I could tell he was a little upset about it.

I know I need to sleep, we would arrive in a few hours and JJ had his first meeting shortly after. I had no idea if he actually wanted me to join him on that, actually I didn't know what I was meant to be doing when he was busy. Just wait? I suppose I would have to figure it out. There were a few places I wouldn't mind revisiting in between. It would be better than just sitting around and going mad.

My eyes fall to my lap when JJ's hand comes to rest on my thigh. His body shifting to lay against my side, his head dropping to rest on my shoulder. I sigh, relaxing under him. I wipe my sweaty palm over my jumper before resting it over JJ's hand on my leg. My fingers press between his, curling to hold his hand. Surely no one would notice, or care. It was dark enough and the sections were more spaced out here. I even had room for my legs, which was always a blessing.

Sighing I put in my headphones in one handed and get on some music before resting my head on top of JJ's. Taking the chance to try and sleep at least a little bit. Having him pressed against me had settled my nerves enough that I think I might actually have a chance.

--

When I wake up I feel cold, realizing soon after that JJ was gone. We are still in the air from what I can tell, so I wonder where he had gone off too. Pulling out my headphones I check my phone. There are a few notifications and texts but I couldn't be bothered to look at any of it. So I put my phone in my pocket and unbuckle to make my way to the bathroom. Everyone seems to mostly be asleep still, so I'm confident it had to be empty.

I hear soft talking from the opposite end of the plane and I turn to see who it was. I spot JJ talking to the flight attendant. She laughs at something he says and leans into him, her hand on his bicep. I feel my heart sink into my stomach, as a cold wave washes over my body. My breath hitching as I tried to take in a breath to calm myself down. It was just chatting, they were just chatting, right?

I am not looking in the direction that I am walking and end up tripping over a seat, in my rush to get away from what I was seeing. Nearly falling over some old lady, but I catch myself. Mumbling my apologies and a few curses as I take long strides to the bathroom. Fumbling to get the door open before sliding in and locking it behind me. My heart is racing and my face is suddenly hot from embarrassment. 

He wouldn't bring me along just to chat up some random women, would he? To be fair we had not talked about all of it still. I didn't bring up what Harry had said, or what we were doing. Nor did he. The days before leaving for L.A were oddly limbo like, we just were there with each other and things just went on. I slept in his bed and we showered together here and there but, we didn't do anything else sexual. Aside from a few passing kisses and heated up make out sessions. I blamed my anxiety for most of it, I kept over thinking and shying away from him. Though to be fair he didn't exactly try hard to get me into bed, maybe he didn't want to anymore? I was bad? Probably.