Guns For Roses (Frerard)

Chapter 14

DUDE. I can't stop thinking about it. LOOK AT THESE^
SEE THE MESS ON THE LEFT? I MADE THAT IN 25 MINS AT 4AM ON FUCKIN SNAPCHAT.
SEE THE MASTERPIECE ON THE RIGHT??? YEAH, renisnotaghost MADE THAT. AND I JUST- FUCKING LOOK AT IT. I CAN'T FUNCTION. I have ASCENDED.

all y'all are gonna be the death of me in the best way possible. I love you all so much. (hehe all this excitement and then this angsty chapter lol)

Trigger warning: Panic attack. Talk of drug-related death. Brief mention of suicide.

"Gerard, I'm pregnant."

"So, it's a girl?"

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

"But I love you."

"She's on her way to the hospital now."

"Six pounds, seven ounces! I'm so proud of you, Lindsey. I love you so much."

"Mr. Way, meet Bandit Lee Ballato, your daughter."

"She's so beautiful."

"Stay. Please don't go."

"I'm sorry."

"Goodbye, bandit of my heart."

"I love you."

I startled awake with a sharp jolt, heaving for breath and gripping the bedsheets at my chest. Tears streamed down my wet cheeks, and I squeezed my eyes closed to try and shut my stupid thoughts out from reality.

I covered my face with my hands, letting out a shaky sigh. I was lying in the position I'd fallen asleep in, and the room wasn't much brighter than it had been before, so it hadn't been that long since I'd gone to sleep.

I wasn't exactly sure what his presence did, but when I slept with Frank, the dreams were much less severe, and often didn't even make any sense. I could always relax and go right back to sleep.

But being without him again was like ripping a band-aid off of an open wound. They came into my mind with full force and made perfect, horrifying sense to me. Memories, twisted versions of my memories, anything my fucked up head came up with was right there in front of me.

"Gerard, you know it's better this way."

I inhaled sharply and turned over to pick up my phone, pressing the small button on the side to check the time. The little square lit up with the digital bubbles and showed it was about 9am, so I had slept a couple hours. That was good, but there was no way in hell I was getting myself back to sleep.

I dropped my phone to my pillow beside me and squeezed my eyes closed with a quiet groan. I just wished Frank were there with me, keeping me warm and poking my sides to coax me into taking a shower before heading downstairs to our hotel's lobby for breakfast.

I had grown incredibly used to him in that nine months of ours. Just one fucking morning without him and I'm already a clingy child wishing for him to come back to me.

I pulled myself up to a sitting position and swung my legs over the side of the bed, and then had a whole-body shudder of a shiver. It was cold as fuck, which was fucking November's fault.

I took a deep breath and stood up, and as if on cue, my phone started ringing.

I reached over and picked it up, giving a quick glance to my boyfriend's caller ID before answering it.