Spearmint

19. Julia

September 2018

After finding out his name she felt like the queen in the book Rumpelstiltskin after she found out the ugly little man's name. She tried to act as if she was happy living with Daniel, she knew enough not to call him that to his face but in her mind she started to refer to him as Daniel. It suited him and she didn't want to forget it.

Muse had lightened up a bit on his beatings but not his groping. He left hickeys all over her neck. At night he would still hold her chest but she tried to bare through it. She knew that it would soon be her time.

She asked for permission to speak even if it was simple. Daniel seemed happy about it. He also seemed to be pleased at the kisses she left on his cheeks. His cheeks would heat up like a young boy talking to his crush. She would try to say I love you whenever she could, she wanted out and she wanted his trust again.

She needed his trust again. She wished that she didn't run that night. If she hadn't run he probably would have trusted her more. He probably would have taken her shopping more. If a woman cleans up blood for you and keeps her mouth shut while doing it she is trustworthy.

As the days grew shorter she felt her anxiety levels rise, she didn't want to stay there for the winter. She wanted out and back home with Sprinkles.

Hope had filled her a little more everyday, she couldn't understand why. It was possibly because she was trying to gain his trust again and he seemed to be falling for it.

He had stopped burning her with cigarettes, he did sometimes still burn her hands with boiling water but it wasn't as common as it was before. Once a week at best. Most of her bruises had healed since he stopped beating her. She knew when she left she would have scars on her arms from where he did burn her with cigarettes. If scars was the only thing she left with she wouldn't mind so much.

*

Julia had lost track of the days long ago. She couldn't remember how many days she made those god awful eggs and bacon with buttered toast.

Dinner started to be normal, or whatever their normal was before he started beating her.

"Julia," Muse caught her attention. They were at the dinner table again. She had made another stupid casserole.

She looked up from her plate, "yes?"

"Have you had enough time?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean like are you ready yet?"

"For what?" she asked, she had a feeling she knew what he was talking about.

"I mean are you ready to have sex,"

Julia almost choked on her food. "I mean, I'm almost there."

"How long do you think you'll need?"

"I just want to wait until a few of my bruises heal and then I think I'll be ready.

"I wouldn't have had to give those bruises to you if you would have listened," he told her matter of factly.

"I know I'm sorry, I should have listened," she tried.

He looked at her surprised. "I'm glad you understand."

The rest of the night went pretty smoothly. Julia couldn't shake the feeling of something big happening. She thought maybe it was her expecting another murder or another series of abuse. Whatever it was she wasn't sure if she was ready.