lonely nights | jake & colby

4. waiting

jake's pov

i was alone again, with a lot of time to think. mostly, my head was spinning with thoughts of colby. which complicated a lot of other things that were on my mind. like coming to terms with my sexuality has been something i had avoided my whole life, but this past week has brought everything to the forefront.
now i'm also faced with these feelings i have towards colby. he was so good to me last night, he helped me so much just by being there and listening. he was so gentle and patient with me, a side people rarely get to see of him; which made it all the more special. i'm sure he was just being a good friend though.

i try to clear my head a bit by unpacking some of the remaining boxes, music lightly playing in the background. as i'm approaching the next box, the music ceases and is replaced with my ringtone. i find my way towards my phone and see colby's name across my screen. i smile to myself, take a breath and answer.

"hello?" i ask when i'm met with silence.

"hey jake, is it okay if you pop over to sam's later today? we're filming and we need you and corey."

"yeah sure, i'm down for it."

"sweet, we'll let you guys in on the details when you get here tonight."

"i'll see you then." i say with more emotion than i had wanted.

"look after yourself jakey. see you in a bit." he says, quietly.

the phone hangs up and the music continues to fill the room. i wonder what sam and colby have in store for us this time, it is their return to youtube after all. i don't doubt we'll be travelling somewhere, which is weird to think about considering we'd just moved in. i only unpacked last night actually. it's going to be strange anyway, the only person i've spoken to all week, is colby. sure, being with the boys again should be nice but it's going to take quite a lot to pretend everything is okay in front of them and the camera.

i decide i should get ready now and then prepare myself so i'm somewhat camera ready. i found a black and grey camo shirt and threw it on, i then throw on some joggers. i had a feeling it was just the intro to their series, so i thought i would go with casual. i finish by putting on my staple black beanie, then spraying myself with cologne and heading out to my balcony. i sit there and watch the time pass, thinking about how life could be now and whether that would be good or bad.

before i know it, a loud knock sounds at my door. by the noise they were making, i could tell they were most likely filming. i walk the stretch of my apartment to the door and brace myself. there were still knocks being made, so i swung it open.

"come hither." colby says with a large playful smile. i feel myself fall into my facade as i try to find the will to pretend i'm alright. but with him looking at me like that, it isn't so hard.

"dude i thought you guys were my neighbour, i thought i was getting a complaint." i joke.

they all laugh and we continue to sam's apartment after i lock my door. they stop filming and colby falls behind, brushing up against me as we take the short trip to sam's. i look at him, he's already looking at me though and he nods. silently asking if i'm okay, and i nod back. we smile at each other and look back at the group as we enter and take our seats. i notice then, that colby had changed into a nicer shirt but kept on the jeans i had given him earlier today. he looks really good.

they turn the camera on and begin to explain where we're going. i cuddle into a blanket slightly as i try to listen and take everything in.

"when?" corey asks, this is when i tuned in.

"tomorrow, brother." colby says.

i look up slightly for confirmation, "tomorrow?" i repeat as corey jokingly walks away.

that was very soon, not a lot of notice before we have to pack and take off from our new homes. on the other hand, some time all together might be what i need to take my mind off things.

sam films corey as he freaks out about the stanley hotel. while they're busy, i look up at colby and he looks at me. as i stare up at him, i feel myself being able to feel excited about this trip because i actually really like the shining so this was pretty cool. we both begin to smile at each other in a mutual state of excitement, a moment just for the two of us. the camera turns back around and i quickly compose myself.

"no way dude! i love the shining, i'm so down this is gonna be sick!" i exclaim, colby laughs into his hands and i can't stop looking at him after that.

the boys continue to talk about how haunted it is, discussing the research they had done. i watched colby the whole time and when he could, he would sneak glances back at me.

"so we actually brought you guys here tonight, because we wanted to be more prepared with research. but also we have a psychic coming in about.... 30 minutes." sam says.

sam and corey left to go meet the psychic downstairs in the lobby. leaving me and colby, who starts making his way over to sit by me where i'm laying.

"hey there." he says with an almost fond smile. we both sit and wait for them to come back, nervous to see what we might find out but also finding comfort in each others presence.