To All The Girls I've Loved Before

Through the looking glass

"You're just a stupid gay ass bitch, and nobody loves you!"

Those were the words that Lalisa spit in my face after the volleyball game at school. Along with everyone else laughing, I couldn't help myself either. She was just so damn cute when pissed off.

Although it pissed her off more when I told her that, she was still cute. But she was nothing compared to Tzuyu Chou. That girl had my knees weak and I always hated her. I hated Tzuyu Chou with such passion that my heart beat rapid and my throat became dry. But I'd never admit that to anyone. Not even my best friends.

Dahyun and Suho, my two gay best friends. Our little clan was always the ones who got bullied and shouted at for being gay. We just laughed but never really ignored them.

I do admit, I don't care what anybody says about me, but I don't agree with everyone picking on my friends. That's something you don't do.

I came out in fifth grade, and I had one hell of a time then. I got bullied for the rest of my life, because well, here I am, in my senior year, still dealing with the bullies, aka Lisa and her sluts, but minus Tzuyu.

Suho and Dahyun came out at the start of high school, which didn't go too well neither. The bullies were plus sizes then and they didn't take kindly to gays. I hate people who thinks gays are aliens and not humans.

Why? Because we chose to like the same gender? Sorry, but I didn't get that handbook when I was born.

Gays, lesbians, bi's, pansexual, trans, every fucking body who walks this earth is human and has a heart. I don't understand why we can't just live our lives without all the pointing and bullying.

Lalisa Manoban has always gave me and my friends the hardest times in high school. She and her other monkey clones. But the one girl who hasn't bullied us, is Tzuyu, and I don't know if that's good or not. She's basically the queen, next to Lisa, who runs her little club who bullies gays and nerds and everybody else who they can kick around.

I admire Tzuyu but I will never admit that out loud. My friends hate her, and everyone else. I don't want to tell them that I have a crush on her because they'll judge my sanity. I do have a crush on Tzuyu, and it sucks. Because I know that no matter how much of a crush I have on her, she'll never change.

I arrive home around an hour after the volleyball game because Suho had to stop and ask his dad if he could stay with me. Dahyun doesn't have to ask because our moms are like sisters. My mom doesn't mind Dubu staying over and her mom doesn't mind me staying at her house. It's like a tiny surprise party minus the surprise.

I flop down on my bed and turn the tv on. Suho makes himself comfortable by spreading out over my legs while Dahyun snuggles up against me. I love my friends.

As I search through the channels, Suho groans out loud, "I want some chocolate!" He lays on his back and stares at the ceiling.

I hear Dahyun giggle against my neck and I shrug because it tickles. Suho gets up and walks out of the room.

I turn to Dubu, "We might want to hide because he won't be able to find any chocolate in this house."

Dahyun smiles and kisses my nose, "It'll be fine."

Dahyun and my relationship is both cute and confusing. Although she is gay, I will never date her. She did ask me out at one point last year, but I politely turned her down. She agreed that we should stay friends, but she still has her weird ways.

I focus back on the tv. Dahyun sits up and looks at me, "Are you affected in any way by what Lalisa said after the game?" I look at her and shake my head, "She is a bitch, but what she said doesn't phase me." She nods and snuggles back up to me.