To All The Girls I've Loved Before

it's gotta be you

Tzuyu's P.O.V

All week at school I haven't seen Sana. I was starting to worry about her, although I was a bitch for doing that, I still cared about her.

I still liked her.

Lisa told me that if I didn't tell her that I hated her, then she would tell my parents and the whole school that I was gay. I couldn't let that happen. Not now. I felt horrible all week at school and at home because of what I've done. I don't know why she was missing school. If it was because of me or something else. I did see her friends at school and they were smiling and laughing, so I know nothing has happened. I'm still worried though.

Some would call me a bitch for what I've done. I used to be a bigger bitch than you could imagine, pushing everyone out of my life purposely because of Lisa, calling everyone names and bullying them because of how she made me into the monster I was. I wasn't at all like that, I just did it to remain friends with her. 

Sounds stupid, I know. 

But, I couldn't disappoint my mother because of her friendship with Lisa's mom. I loved my mom and I knew she would hate me for disliking Lisa. I couldn't say no.

My mom has this perfect idea of a perfect family with a perfect job and perfect friends. Everything had to be perfect because that's the way she lived her life. She wasn't always like this, but when her and my dad got a divorce, she married this other man and he was mister perfect. He had money, the looks, the power, everything. But he lacked one thing; intelligence. Although he was the entrepreneur of a major corporation that banked in a few million dollars a year, he was still dumb a stump. 

I'm pretty sure he cared about me, just a little, but my mom was what he was after. He wanted to win her heart, and she wanted his money. 

Can you say Gold Digger?

Because that's what my mom was. The main reason for my parents divorce was because my dad lost his job and wasn't bringing in the cash. So she filed a divorce so fast when I blinked, I had a new home and a new dad.

My dad was the best man to ever walk on this earth. He was always understanding towards my needs and he tried his hardest to keep food on the table for my mom and I. He was always there, never out cheating or anything that would destroy our family.

My mom on the other hand, was cheating. Although she never admitted it, I knew she was because she would always come home late and smell like another mans cologne. I knew my dads like the back of my hand and it wasn't his. His was pure Axe, while the one on my mothers clothes was musky.

I was torn apart when my parents divorce, and that's when I met Lisa and her mom and my mom became best friends.

My parents divorced when I was in forth grade. So when I moved, I was already in fifth grade and that's when I met Lisa. She was a sweet, caring girl, who loved life and everyone in it. That's when she invited her mom over to my house for dinner when I offered them to join. That's when my mom started becoming this obsessed teen girl because Lisa's mom was the head owner of this big time magazine that has all the famous women in it from modeling. I was awestruck when I found out because she was famous for it. But I didn't just become Lisa's friend because of that, I didn't know that until I brought her to my house.

That's when everything started. From Lisa and I becoming inseparable, and her falling for a girl, then her mom scolds her for it and here she is today, the bitch of homophobic bitches. I don't know what's so wrong with liking the same gender, but apparently you'll be hated for it.

I never gave it much thought when I was little about liking a girl. I mean, I liked girls but not in a way that made me want to date them. I always found guys attractive. I was taught that since I'm a girl, a boy was what I was suppose to be with. I never thought about girls in any other way until I met Sana.