Counting Down the Days

June 7: A Graduation

 I graduated high school on Friday in a virtual ceremony. Even though it was virtual, it still felt very official. There were speeches (including my own). A student sang the national anthem. I wore makeup and fancy clothes under my cap and gown. I talked to my teachers, and said farewell for what may be the last time. Afterward, my mom helped me to put on leis and we took pictures. We had a big celebratory dinner of takeout burgers and fries. My sister made a trifle. It was a great day—if a bit hot and sticky to be wearing so many clothes.

Since then, I've been taking the last two days or so to relax, and also to think. I had already been done with all of my classes for about two weeks before graduation, so nothing has really changed from before to after. I shouldn't really feel any different, but I do. When I finished my classes back in May, I felt a bit strange at first. I was not sure what to do with myself. Though it was a relief to be done, I did not feel, per se, happy.

But since graduating I feel so much lighter. I feel as if the final ropes holding my boat to shore have been released, and I am at long last floating out to sea. I feel like a white cloud drifting across a one o'clock sky. I feel like a dandelion as its downy seeds are tossed into the breeze. I am almost obnoxiously happy. In my experience, most people spend their everyday lives at an equilibrium: neither happy nor sad. But right now at every moment I can feel the elation dogging at the edges of my being, prepared to spring back into action at a moments notice.

So what has changed that has made me feel this way? After all, there is no real reason why graduating officially should make me feel any different than graduating unofficially. But the difference is there, and it is important. After think about it a bit, I have come to the conclusion that it all comes down to acknowledgement; Though I may have unofficially graduated when I finished my classes, the official ceremony acknowledged my accomplishment, providing a certain sense of closure. I believe that acknowledgement is much more important than most people give it credit for. 

It is popular to say that other people's opinions are unimportant, and that you should only do things for yourself. People like to act like wanting acknowledgement from others is a bad thing because it means you must be insecure. And to be sure, some insecure people do seek the approval of others, but there is a big difference between wanting to be approved of and wanting to be seen. Once in a while, everyone needs to feel recognized. Everyone needs to know that they exist, and that they belong. Knowing that people have seen your work and they appreciate it is something that everyone needs to feel, whether they want to admit it or not.