where pilgrims are sinners, saints go to hell

5

"...may I ask you a question, my King?"

He paused, seemingly surprised. She thought this was understandable, as she had never asked for permission before.

"You may". She braced herself.

"...do you still have the ability of foresight? Or did something happen to it when you shed your old form?"

She knew it would probably be a sensitive topic, and the way he froze only confirmed it. She... almost regretted asking, but she was really curious, and it's not like she could get this information elsewhere.

"Yes, we do. But just as us, it did not come out of the transformation intact. It lost its certainty. We can no longer see the future as one straight line, absolute; but instead flowing as a river of sorts, its infinite possibilities taunting us.

It's... maddening. We can see only endings. All of them; the pleasant, the perfect, the disturbing, the heartbreaking. But never the paths leading to those. It's worse than walking blind, it's as if walking blind when there's a spike pit on one of your sides and a hot spring on the other and have been spun around yourself ten times.

At this point, we'd much rather be like any mortal and not see anything at all. Having no expectations is better than having one's hopes raised only to be stepped on, time and time again".

A pause. He seemed almost... bitter?

"We assume you ask on account of Hallownest's fall. And yes, it happened due to this -well, not quite. It happened due to us. But it was... instigated due to this. We could see a possibility where the Radiance was contained and the kingdom prospered, and we were so desperate that we attempted to blindly fill in the blanks our mind wouldn't let us see. A futile, stupid effort. We have wondered if we could have messed up worse if we had tried to. We'll never know the proper way of creating a Vessel, but it does not matter anymore. Even if that little ghost of yours hadn't eradicated the infection, there is no Hallownest left to save. Our life's work is now nothing but a few ruins and discarded corpses. There isn't even anyone to protect. Not even us. Not that we deserve to be protected after the spectacular series of misfortunes we brought to these bugs. A King shouldn't stand when his kingdom does not. If history had been just, we would have died with--"

She grabbed his hand. "Enough".

She took a few seconds to put her thoughts into words, and to stabilize her breathing. Hearing all of that had made her feel so... angry.

"First off, you did not bring any misfortune to the citizens of Hallownest. They wouldn't even have been so if it weren't for you. You gave countless gifts to countless generations of bugs before things went south, and even then you gave your absolute all to try and save them. Your rights outweigh your wrongs in this one, as much as you like to think they don't.

And secondly, you absolutely do not deserve to die just because your kingdom has. You talk of your life's work as if you weren't still alive and able to keep working. I know you still have plenty of time to create something that even you can deem worthy of your name. And after seeing only a fraction, only the remnants of what you can do, you'd be a fool to think I'm just gonna sit here and let you rot away and wait for death. Because know, Pale King of Hallownest, that if devotion is truly all the sustain gods need, you will live for as long as I do".

She paused. And then, almost blushing, "A- and I don't plan on dying anytime soon, so".

She sighed. She knew she'd probably regret talking to him like that later, especially over such a sensitive topic, but right now that wasn't the point.

"Do you understand?"

He didn't reply. He hadn't moved at all since she started talking.

"Do you understand?" she repeated harshly, and this time she intertwined her fingers with his.

This did get a reaction.

He sputtered, something she had never seen him do before, "Y-yes".

"Good" she huffed, and let go of his hand to sit straight again. She was certainly blushing now. And if the way the King was attempting to hide the way his wings had flared up, he was as well; in his own way.