where pilgrims are sinners, saints go to hell

12

It was a while before she saw him again.

After learning what happened to the Hollow Knight and why, and how the little ghost had escaped the Abyss along with some of their siblings (and the fate those siblings met), he had become reclusive again for several days. Being reminded of and seeing in first person the consequences of his crimes had taken a toll on him, and he had seemed to avoid company as much as he could. She gave him his space, but she couldn't help being worried.

Eventually, though, he appeared in her room when she was about to go to sleep. He caught her by surprise, as she was already in bed and he had made no noise when approaching. They exchanged a long glance. He looked tired.

Without saying a word, he slowly climbed into bed next to her. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her forehead against his. He relaxed in her arms and returned the hug, sighing against her.

They fell asleep like that.

-

She woke up before he did, which seemed to be shaping up to be something normal. He rarely slept, but when he did it was always long and heavy. She didn't mind, however; as weird as it sounded, she liked watching him sleep. He was rarely that relaxed, and seeing how he let himself be that vulnerable around her, especially knowing what he came from, always filled her with a warmth she couldn't find anywhere else.

After a while, he stirred and finally opened his eyes. He sighed again when he recognized her and sleepily buried his face against her neck. She placed a kiss on one of his horns and said, voice hoarse,

"Good morning".

"Hello" he replied, sounding equally tired. "...thank you for letting me sleep here".

"It's your palace, my King. You can sleep wherever you want".

"You know that isn't what I meant".

She chuckled. "Yes, I do. I thought you already knew that you're always welcome around me".

He stayed silent for long enough to make her think he had fallen asleep again, and just when she was about to check, she heard the tiniest "I don't deserve you".

And suddenly she remembered the current situation and his newly-ended reclusion.

It was a merciful thing, that fleeting forgetfulness of having just woken up. She wondered if he even felt it at all that morning, or if his mind wouldn't allow him a single waking moment of rest from his past. Part of her, a small, selfish part of her wished they could just go back to laying together and enjoying each other's presence in silence, without having to worry about the troubles of the past.

But she knew she couldn't in good consciousness leave him to torture himself like that, especially not with such lies.

"What prompts you to say that, my King?" she murmured.

After a few moments of silence, he responded.

"How? I don't... get it. How can you stay here? How can you share a space with me, and then sleep peacefully at night? Isn't your continued permitting and reassuring of my existence the silent condoning of my actions? I noticed the way you looked at the vessels the other day. You care about them, do you not? You're pained by the Pure Vessel's current state. So why are you so fine with coexisting with me? And how do they not hate me? I just legitimately don't understand".

He...did have a couple of good points. She responded, and while she did, she started softly tracing circles on his back.

"Yes, I do care about them, of course. And the little ghost as well. But I also care about you, and they do as well, just like you care for them. And we've all made unforgivable mistakes in our own eyes. When they were rescued, the Pure Vessel was expecting to be... discarded, for having failed their purpose". She felt him stiffen at this. "And they were technically not wrong, when you think about it. But that doesn't mean they deserved to die, and neither do you. Your present repentance means more than your past mistakes".