Four Walls (Book One) ✔️

Chapter Forty-Seven

I twirl the white rose between my fingers, not caring that the pointy thorns prick my skin. Gently, I rest the flower in front of the marble obelisk, all the while fighting back a sob.

EMTs ruled it a heart attack. When I told them of her nicotine addiction, they weren't surprised.

"Heart attacks are common in anyone over sixty-five," one of the emergency responders informed me. "Smoking doubles your risk."

Uncle Saul came to town to help with the funeral arrangements. He's a tall man with sandy blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a perpetual scowl. He isn't mean, per se, but he's hard to talk to. Even before Margo and I became close, we never had issues holding a conversation.

Damian wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the cemetery. I turn around, stealing one last glance at what's left of my grandmother before heading back to his house.

He makes me hot chocolate and coaxes me to eat some saltines. Zane rests his hand over mine, noticeably uncomfortable. Things between us have been tense ever since I announced that I was leaving for the summer. He's been good to me since Margo passed, but I have a feeling that once my grief over my grandmother goes away, he will, too.

Jessica materializes with a bag of toiletries. She takes a lavender-scented makeup wipe from a plastic pouch and begins to wipe off my smudged mascara. Once my face is clean, she brushes my tangled hair and pulls it back into a loose ponytail.

"I brought some clothes over for you," she says. "They're in the bathroom. Do you want me to help you out of your dress?"

"I'm okay," I mumble, wishing I had the energy to express my gratitude. My friends haven't left my side throughout all of this, and I appreciate them more than they realize.

I just feel so god damn broken that I can't even put words together.

First Ada, then Jose, and now Margo. Why is it that everyone I love either leaves or dies?

I peel off my black dress and change into the t-shirt and leggings that Jessica brought me. I sit on the bathroom floor for a minute, hugging my knees to my chest. The urge to cry hits me, but I don't allow the tears to fall. I've cried enough for one lifetime.

There's a soft knock on the door. I muster a raspy "come in" and watch as Zane's silhouette fills the doorway.

"You were taking a while. I wanted to see if you were alright," he says.

"I'm fine," I reply, rising to a stand.

"Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about. I know the timing's awful, but—"

"Just spill it, Zane."

"I finally found an apartment," he announces.

A smile tugs at my lips. "That's great. You've been looking for a long time."

"Yeah, it's just that... well, it's not in Starkton," he mutters, scratching his head. "Or even in Michigan."

"Oh." The unspoken message behind his words hits me. "So how far away will you be?"

"Chicago. It's a four-hour drive," he tells me. "I know I'm an asshole, but I have a great job lined up. After everything that's happened, I think I need a fresh start."

"It was the fresh start I needed. The world's a big place, and people are fucking stupid if they choose to stay in the same good-for-nothing town their whole lives."

"I'm happy for you, Zane," I whisper.

He raises his eyebrows. "You are? I thought you'd be angry."