saudade || Hanse FF

Ⅳ

People are surrounding the girl who is sitting behind her table with a smile, she has books next to her and a marker in her hand. She waves softly at the camera's and looks up when she gets a microphone in her hands. "Hello everyone" she smiles and carefully gets up from her table and walks to the front of the table, she leans against it and her gaze scan the crowd, it is quite packed. She smiles softly "As you all might know, I'm Yoonsun" she chuckles and a bright smile is on her face.

"Does anyone have questions? I would be happy to answer them" Yoonsun says as she looks around, there are quite some younger girls in the crowd and she sees a few raising their hand "What is your name sweetheart?" she walks towards a girl in a black t-shirt and some white jeans, she holds the microphone in front of her "My name is Ciara" she smiles, Yoonsun smiles brightly at her "What is your question dear?" Ciara bites her lip softly, she just had a question and now she can't think of it. "Your covers are handmade, do you draw them and what is your inspiration for them?" the question is loud and clear, Yoonsun walks back to the stage and sits on it. She bites her lip "I feel like now I can't avoid that question anymore" she chuckles softly, the crowd laughs with her. "I draw the covers myself, a lot of people are talking about it online, I have seen all the questions and I was never able to answer them" she smiles weakly, "The inspiration of the covers are a sensitive subject" she looks at Ciara "But because you asked I will answer, the covers are drawings of pictures, they are pictures of someone I miss dearly" she feels tears in her eyes but ignores them.
"Is that someone from Korea?" another person asks, Yoonsun nods and smiles weakly. "Yes I would tell his name but I won't do it since he has quite a reputation to hold" she chuckles and stands up "Let's sign some books shall we?" she smiles and walks to her table, "You can keep asking questions I will answer them and after I have signed your book I will read a few poems from the book" she smiles softly as she sits down, this is going to be her most personal poetry book ever.

"Hey" Ciara is standing in front of Yoonsun, she smiles "How old are you dear, can I ask?" Yoonsun scans the younger girl her face "I'm 17! I have followed your journey ever since your first book" she smiles brightly, Yoonsun her cheeks start burning a little and she smiles "I'm glad you can be here today" Yoonsun grabs her marker and starts writing something in it.
This book is about someone special and for someone special. I wish I could tell everyone why I miss that person dearly, I wish I could tell him that I miss him, I wish I could tell everyone who he is. I wish I could shout it out that I love him. I could tell you but you have to promise me that you won't tell. My manager and my mom will get angry if I told anyone. But I will tell you, his name is Hanse. Do Han-se, he is a rapper in the band VICTON, my mom made me move to the United States after my graduation without letting me say a proper goodbye, I haven't seen nor heard from ever since because my mom told me so. I should fire my mom as manager, I am glad I am successful but I just miss him so much. And let me tell you when you find the right person, don't ever let them go easily. You will live with the regret the rest of your life.
Thank you for supporting me. Love, Yoonsun.
Yoonsun hands the book to Ciara and she winks, Ciara chuckles and walks back to her seat. When she sits she opens the book to read the story Yoonsun wrote down.

Everyone is sitting again and Yoonsun stands up, she grabs her own copy of the book and she puts her chair closer to the edge of the stage. "I want to thank everyone again for coming" she smiles and her head perks up as she hears an all to familiar song through the mall. "Can you hear my howling yeah" she bites her lip and shakes her head softly trying to ignore it.
She opens her book and goes to the page where she put a pink note in between. "This is page 13 in the book, the poem is called Can't Forget" she looks at the crowd but looks back in her book "I can't forget, the days when your smile made me smile, your hugs made me weak, your kisses made me skip a heart beat." She feels tears coming back up and a lump in her throat but she ignores it "When you looked in my eyes I fell in love all over again, the thing is that I still feel it, but she broke my heart and now we aren't on talking terms anymore." Yoonsun always included her mother as the villain in her stories and poems, it's how she coped with her feelings. "I can't forget you, I can't get you out of my head, you are my first thought in the morning and I fall asleep with you in my mind."

Yoonsun waves at the crowd as they all slowly leave the place, Ciara stays behind and looks at Yoonsun, the older girl shoots her a smile and Ciara runs up to her and wraps her arms around Yoonsun "I'm so sorry" she whispers. Yoonsun smiles and makes soothing motions on Ciara her back "It's okay Ciara, it's not your fault" she looks at the younger girl with a smile. "Is it okay for me to ask if we could take a picture together?" Ciara looks at Yoonsun and she shakes her head "Of course we can take one" Ciara grabs her phone and they both pose for the photo. Yoonsun watched Ciara walk away with a soft smile on her face, she turns around and her mother is standing there, with the same look on her face as she always has, angry for no reason.