Baby Daddy

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

The night ends with a bang.

A painful bang. . .or at least for some of us.

Randall leaves the place with such fury, it makes me sink in my seat and clutch onto the seatbelt as he drives us home.

My heart hammers, my clouded brain becoming clearer whenever he increases the speed.

Much to my dismay, we take a detour, turning into the woods and stopping atop a cliff somewhere close to the lake.

Under the moonlight, I feel like I can touch the sky, if I just stretch my hand up. The lake below us seems slightly endless regardless of the cliff on the other side.

Randall just stands there, too close to the edge, but not intending to fall off. Unless. . .unless he takes another step forward.

Hands on his torso, his face is hidden by the darkness, and I can't say I sympathese with him.

Until he starts back to the car, stride full of purpose and face cold and dark. He picks something up and throws it with a painful, startling roar.

For some reason I'm tearing up and when he enters the car, a chilling breeze sweeps in making matters worse.

Then, he starts the car and we're off.

He barely changes out of his attire and while he basks in the warmth of the fireplace, a bottle of whiskey not so far from reach, I weigh my options.

I wonder about tomorrow. As well as the day after that.

And when he caught my gaze before entering his room, I couldn't help but think that this was my fault.

Oh, how I miss being intoxicated.

Randall glances down as I do, and disappears into his room. He wanders back to the living room when I finally lay my head down.

I'd like to think he lost three things that night; his father, Fiona and the position he wants in that God forsaken company.

Regardless, that doesn't stop him from looking at her like she's the brightest diamond. The same look Michael had when he proposed to her that night.

And, again, even though Fiona comes bearing bad news, he's still painstakingly warm with her.

"I thought you should hear it from me first," she says, voice fruity and her brown eyes wide with hope.

Randall's lips press into a thin line, palms flat on his knees as he nods,

I bite onto the cookie a little louder than intended and Fiona's head whips and I swear she sneers before putting her signature smile.

I'm probably just high from the xanax.

"Sorry," I mumble. I turn around and lean on the island with my elbows atop it.

Before she leaves, Fiona invites me to her bachelorette party. My nerves take over and I'm too flustered to deny when she pulls the friendship card.

"It would mean the world to me," she says in a honeyed voice. "Don't forget it's next month on the fifth."

"That's three weeks from now." Randall counters, eyebrows pulled so hard, might leave a mark.

She answers him with an awkward smile then leaves.

He huffs and glares at me.

I turn back to the kitchen and stuff my face with guilt and chips.

"You're not going anywhere."

I scoff. Says the man who sneaks around with his father's girlfriend.

-correction, fiance.

"Why aren't you at work?" I ask out of curious. It's almost noon and he is still in his dull pajama pants and a fading blue long sleeve shirt.

Randall merely shrugs, giving the simplest answer, "I didn't feel like it."

He didn't feel like it.

Right.

Immediately after, he snatches the bag of chips in front of me.

"Hey!"

Randall acts as if he doesn't hear a word I say then jumps over the sofa. He rests his feet on the table and surf's the TV channels.

I don't know whether to walk away or join him. He's clearly going through something.

When he turns his head, I can't help but admire how his dark hair looms over his forehead in a messy but kempt way.

He pops a chip into his mouth and juts his chin.

"Don't forget the tequila." He says nonchalantly. "Behind the detergents."

How do you get mad at that?

Soon after, we fall into a weird routine. Given that he stays home most of the days and just drowns in alcohol and junk food.

Watching him fall into the habit is almost endearing at first, until he doesn't have anything to say and just stared at the walls instead.

Then when I look into the mirror, I see my reflection. Kira Pierson, the woman who's discarding her life like a piece of paper.

It breaks my heart. I miss being me, I miss the me that didn't sleep with her sister's boyfriend, I miss the me that wouldn't sacrifice her to shut out her emotions.

Sometimes, I miss the me that cried when she lost her baby. And most times, I wonder what it would feel like to be in that kind of pain again.

But everytime I wake up in the morning, nearing the dreadful day of Fiona's bachelorette party, I wish I'd made different choices.

"I'm moving out." I announce one day. It's a brazen statement, and makes me think of the day Maddie and I left our hometown.

We're sitting in front of the fireplace and when Randall finally looks at me, his face is blank.

It's hard to decipher whether his nod is of acceptance or just that; a nod. With a half full bottle of gin in hand, he stands up, better so than I would've.

Not a moment later, he comes back and sits down, closer than he was. Too close for comfort. We're practically bumping heads.

Then he tips the bottle my way and I laugh taking a swig.

Randall suddenly let's out a low humorless laugh. "It's a dangerous thing, pretense," he says, staring straight at the fire. He looks at me, and despite his stern expression, my eyes drift to his pink full lips. "A man ought to know who he is, even if he isn't proud to be it."

With that said, he leaves.

*

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You say I'm crazy, but you don't think I know what you've done.

So, it's been a harsh day. My heart and head kept screaming at me to watch the new episode of Business Proposal and then my mom kept fussing about sleeping early, but a deep, indecipherable part of me, knew the right thing to do. . .

Thus I watched the business proposal and finished this chapter for us. I will certainly feel like a million bucks in the morning.

Anyway. . .I hope you enjoy the chapter as much as I struggled to write it. Argh, I feel like this chapter is lacking something. Somewhere.

However, thank you for reading, comments and votes will be highly appreciated.

Furthermore, good night.