𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚂𝚒𝚡

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My sister can't stand to be in the same room with me. She doesn't say it, she doesn't need to. Its quite obvious.

Her fingers twitch whenever I speak, hands clenching and unclenching in frustration. Then, she bites her lip, the bright lip gloss smeared and long forgotten as the corners of her mouth quiver indecisively.

And finally, the nail on my coffin; her eyes.

Maddie has always been more expressive with her eyes. Although brown, dull and usually full of excitement and love, all I could see in them now was a different depth of sorrow, rage and as delirious as it may sound; they were blood red. Like daggers; unblinking and full or tears.

It's a look torn between, should I choke her now, suffocate her in her sleep or fall off a cliff.

Or maybe that's just how I feel.

And despite what happened, we're still sisters. And as they stupidly say, blood is thicker than water. . .right?

I see it now, though. Looking at myself makes me want to scream my lungs out.

I fist my hand and hit it harshly against my chest, hoping it will soothe the brewing anxiety. With one hand braced against the granite basin in the lavish hospital restroom, I lift my eyes once more to my pathetic reflection. Rough brown skin, sore red eyes with dark circles underneath.

I can't believe this is what I've become.

A liar.

A cheat.

A backstabber.

And a fucking disappointment.

A whole monster.

A cry bubbles in my throat, my eyes burning again at the piercing tears. I sniff, standing upright and turning the faucet.

Within the second, I'm laughing, tears rolling down my cheeks as I throw my head back. I wish I could taking all back. Ahh, if only I could turn back time.

I wouldn't have looked at him when she brought him. I wouldn't even think of blinking. I wouldn't have held his hand that night, or even thought of kissing him.

I rinse my hands under the running water, and as my reflection becomes clearer, I smile at the sight of my unruly hair. It's wild, all over the place and untamed. . .like me.

As I soothe it down, I feel phantom tugs on my scalp. And instantly a memory I wish I could forget resurfaces with a rush of guilt.

I went too far this time.

I'm hunched over the basin again, hand pressing down on the aching inside my chest. Breathing becomes difficult with each passing minute.

Maybe punching the mirror will make all go away. Maybe it will make me feel better too. One thing for sure; I'd rather bleed to death than have this brutal aching in my heart. I feel like I'm dying.

I slowly take deep breaths. Breathing through clenched teeth while trying to ignore the piercing in my chest. I'm looking at the mirror again.

I could do that. It would be so much better, right?

After all, it's not like I'm not bleeding already.

My hands fists, and just as I'm about to act, a woman bursts into the restroom.

Then another, then two. And before i know it, I can't do anything.

By the time I e exit the restroom, I've fed myself enough lies to grow half a testicle.

Several deep breaths, a few more punches against my chest and some confident strides can go a mile when you're hopeless. Well, that and a few splashes of cold water on my face.

I walk into the waiting room with purpose, and convince myself to hold my chin up like I know what I'm down.

I see Maddie first.

Her head's rested against the wall she's leaning on, foot turnt as she hopelessly tilts her head from side to side every now and then.

I gulp as I take another step, my shoulders feeling weightless.

Tears pour down my cheeks when I find my mother.

I guess she was right. I am selfish.

It's my fault he's here in the first place. It's my fault that we're here; the worst place any family could be.

Here we go again. I'm put pressure against my chest, trying to suppress the aching as I watch my mother.

She's pacing, clutching and rolling a damn rosary in her shaking hand.

My body suddenly feels weak. I look at her face. Her eyebrows are furrowed, eyes slightly closed as she mumbles a prayer while dragging her feet back and forth.

She looks as pale a ghost and I don't know what to do.

She's always been so composed and calmer than the rest of us. Can I even do anything, I wonder, laughing at myself despite the tears.

What do I say to her?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry for being such a selfish and cowardly daughter. Oh, and what else? What else? What's the next line?

It's oddly hot and crowded now, different faces appearing and rushing about. If I close my eyes for a second, I feel like I might lose them too.

I survey the surrounding and awkwardly stalk towards my mother.

"Mom." I start. "Any news on dad?"

She leaves me on the sideline. Should I let her be?

"Mom." I say again. But my call falls on deaf ears.

Then Maddie grabs her trembling hand, stopping her mid step. "Mom."

"What?" She asks, startled. "What?"

"Anything on dad?" I ask again, my heart breaking the longer I look into her wide amber eyes.

She's holding it in and it's hurting her.

Her mouth opens and closes hesitantly, until she shrugs. "I don't know."

Then she narrows her eyes at us, urging Maddie to let go of her wrist.

"You're disturbing me,"she says with a heave. "You should leave. That's the only way he can get better."

Just as she's about to leave, she turns around, making me feel even more of a failure, and says; "I hope you're proud of yourself Kira."She gives a tight lip smile, a tear sliding down her cheek. I can feel Maddie's eyes on me. "You should've stayed wherever you were."She continues. "Look at your father's condition now, your sister.

She shakes her head, then lets out a humorless laugh. "I can't believe I'm your mother."

"Mom." My eyes burn and I take one pleading step towards her. She doesn't mean that.

She doesn't mean anything by it, I tell myself.

"Please leave." She says grimly. She looks at Maddie. "Both of you. I will take care of my husband."

*

*

*

*
I don't want to lose you now.
I'm looking right at the other half of me.

Hello.

Hi

How are you?

It's been a minute...a long minute.

I am so sorry. I have just been caught up with a lot work and family stuff.

But I'm trying my best hey...

Hope you enjoy the chapter and forgive me for my tardiness. Thank you for reading.

Good night loves

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