A Mold That Once Fitted

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Once more, as I slowly open my eyes desperately trying to have the will to get up out of bed

as my head aches with pain with not enough amount of sleep,

as I try to pull my self up. slowly gaining conscious of the door slamming down stairs, and a woman yelling,

I figured it was my mom,

I gained conscious, as the words came back,

"you're not family", "nobody wants you", "nobody loves you",

Slowly I've felt anger enrage within me, so much pain, confusion, and hatred.

I didn't even realize I was able to stand, no longer trembling with weakness, but with dire.

As the footsteps, hit the stairs, I can hear every loud bang as steps took on.

I suddenly felt the realization of,

"No matter what i say it will be my fault", "no matter what I do, it will still be my fault".

As the realization settles In me

I felt my heart being pushed,
in a single heart beat, it felt like an hour as I've felt every movement of my body, my mouth tremors, my hands shaking, my eyes filling with nothing but black abyss. As the pain fall down from my head down to the last of me. My body shivered as if I saw a ghost but rather reality.

The door finally bursted open, as the wind of the commotion hit my whole body, that led me to step back.

There it was. Standing there, almost as if frozen, but only from that position I already know what's. Coming, I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts, my headache came back, tho I was able to brace myself from saying anything.

Then It finally spoke:

"HERE WE GO AGAIN!

as the words slips away from my mind, as it was hard for me to focus.

LOOK AT YOUR SELF YOU ARE WORTHLESS. YOU WILL NEVER LEARN??! CHANGE!, YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT! LOOK AT YOURSELF YOU'VE LET YOURSELF GO. NOBODY LOVES YOU! NOBODY WANTS TO ACCEPT YOU ANYMORE!! NO ONE WILL BE WITH YOU UNLESS YOU CHANGE YOUR WHOLE BEING, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!!!

It clicked me, one more time, I blanked out. Just starring right through it.

Those simple words that I never thought existed. Somehow made me feel as if I'm not deserving to live. It made me feel pain, which is confusing because it never hit me it never touched me. But it sure did made me feel.

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