My defender (Emilia x fem reader)

Chapter 11: Your regrets...

Y/N PoV
Lifeless...Lifeless...Lifeless...I don't want to think anymore...I can't...What's happening?

Emilia: "Y/N? Are you awake?"

I wish I wasn't. What's the point?

Y/N: "Hey Emilia?"
Emilia: "Yes?"
Y/N: "Do you want to know?"
Emilia: "h-huh?"
Y/N: "I said...Do you want to know?"
Emilia: "Y/N what are you talking about? Are you alright?"

I need to tell you. I don't care the costs. I need help. We both do.

Y/N: "There's something I want you to know..."
Emilia: "Uh ok...You can tell me anything. I'll be willing to listen."
Y/N: "..."

Come on mouth! Talk! Say it!

Y/N: "I..."

Say it!!!

Y/N: "..."

Her eyes were unwavering with concern. Glistening as the sunlight shone upon them. As I stared at her blankly, I realised I couldn't speak. My voice disappeared. My heart no longer hurt...but what is this immense fear I'm feeling? My body began to shake vigorously like I had just seen the most grotesquely grim thing to ever grace the earth.

Emilia: "Y/N? What's happened? You've been acting really strange..."

You won't let me will you? You never will...this is mine and his burden to bare.

Y/N: "Please....stay away from me..."

10 mins later...

Third person PoV
Suspecting there was something gravely wrong with Y/N. Emilia had her transferred to Subaru's room following his strange behaviour. The boy had screamed the moment he woke up. Why you ask? As soon as his eyes landed on the blue haired maid towering above him once again, his mind travelled back to the moments before his death. Those same piercing eyes looking at him in disgust. Wanting him dead. It was nightmare fuel for him. Having died several times before (More times than Y/N has) the trauma had slowly began to be too much for him. Naturally. Laying there in his bed, overcome by the stress of his pain, Y/N was rolled into the room swimming in the same sorrow. Ram pushing her bed against Subaru's wall.

Subaru: "Why is she here?"
Ram: "The both of you have awoken with unusual tendencies so Miss Emilia and Sir Roswaal saw it fit for the two of you to be kept in the same room and be monitored."
Subaru: "O-oh..."

As quick as she came, Ram left. Y/N remained silent.

Subaru: "Y/N? Are you ok?"
Y/N: "..."
Subaru: "Look I know how you feel. The first couple of loops are always the worst. Going through the same thing over and over again is what I experienced in the loot house..."
Y/N: "..."

Still, her eyes stayed glued to the ceiling. Her lips sealed shut.

Subaru: "But you mustn't give up! Y/N we'll stop this eventually! We'll fix this!"
Y/N: "How?"
Subaru: "Because we have no choice!!!"
Y/N: "..."
Subaru: "We'll find a way! Or maybe we won't and we'll have to wait for a way to do it. But the day will come!"
Y/N: "What day?"
Subaru: "The day we get to move past this dammed loop!!! No matter what! No matter how many times we die! We'll make it out of here as better people! We can't abandon them!"
Y/N: "..."

She lay there absorbing every word Subaru had said. The man was right. There was no way he and Y/N could just lay down and not fight. There had to be a way they could move on. A way they could change Rem's mind and survive the next few days. All they had to do was wait for the right moment.

Beatrice: "What's this ruckus about moving on and making it out? Could you guys be any quieter?"
Y/N: "Beatrice..."
Beatrice: "I know I know. The two of you have experienced some kind of trauma and now you're not the same I suppose."
Subaru: "How did you-"
Beatrice: "There's quite a cowardly look on that girl's face I suppose."
Subaru: "Hang on Y/N is-"
Y/N: "Why are you here Beatrice?"