"Outter space"

• I failed •

-The next day at breakfast-

Prof. Harbord entered the big room, we're suppose to have most of our meals in, the room, almost all of the astronaut's of our (my mum's old) Orbit are sitting down on a long table right now. No place is empty and eventhough we're not a crazy small group, the space between each of our seats is huge.. Don't ask me why tho. I have no clue. We normally dont eat like this but Harbord called all of us in because he wanted to announce something.

Prof Harbord: ,,Morning everyone, thanks for comming. As you all know we are near to start the first ' settlements on the Mars' -mission, and a lot of you guys really practiced half of their life to be chosen to go on that mission. I am now, going to announce the lucky one's to live on Mars for the first time!" (he said holding up a little piece of paper he had juzt grabbed out of a folder from his bag)

Everyone's tension increased. And especially I got sickening nervous.

Prof Harbord: ,,The first one to go is, of course, our well appreciated Leader, Jason Marthen!"

He spoke out Amy's and Jason's name and also said a couple more. But then, I saw him putting the paper back into the bag he got it out of and sit down for some words for more explanation.

Prof Harbord: ,,.. and the project start's on February first. I'm really sorry for everyone who isn't on the mission yet, but that will not the last time we're going to take people to Mars. May everybody keep working hard. I'll promise satisfying success for all of you. You're work is gonna pay off, with certainty! (he said waving sharply as good bye)

Amy: ,,I'm sorry hun.." (she said putting her hands on my shoulders, to pierce me with a gentle "i feel so bad"- gaze.

I lightly pushed her away, stud up in silence, and left the room - straight into mine. As soon as my door closed behind me, I jumped on my bed, face down, to not give my desperate urge to cry a way to actually appear. Guess what folks. I still lost some tears, lol.

-while listening to Great one by Jessie Reyez-

I tried mum. I really tried. I worked so hard.. I thought it was enough. Well, turns out it wasn't. Ugh what am I saying! I was just being stupid, to even think about going on this mission. I'm sorry mum. I wish you could be here. You would have given me the advice to wait another year.  You'd have known better. Sorry to disappoint you. I'm a total failure. I-

I got cut off

???: ,,Hey! stop saying that!

Me: what..? (I said turning around sniffing)

???: ,, Don't ever say you failed, again! because you so didn't. You're perfect for this mission.. and you'll sill be able to go. Just not now, but Harbord is going to change his mind soon."

While the person was talking I noticed it was one of the other astronaut's from our Orbit. His name is Luke

Luke: 20 y/o, on Skansas522 since 2026, has been down one time in between, like me. He's the only really cute one my age (close enough haha) on this spacestation I would say.

Me: ,,Thank you, but I think its time for me to give up. Mum wouldn't want me to but.. I mean I should. Can't take another rejection.."

Luke: ,,Waow."

Me: ,,What.?"

Luke: ,,I never thought I would hear the Tayra Brooks, say she's gonna give up."

Me: ,,Haha well, than congratiulations on your first time." (I said giggling)

Luke: ,,Ouh I like that better now."

Me: ,,You like what?"

Luke: ,,You, laughing." (he said smiling looking at me deeply)

Me: ,,You made me laugh soo.. better thank yourself." I winked

Luke: ,,What are you talking about?! I have to thank you for looking that good while laughing.. Im the one that gets to enjoy the view. I literally -No, fr. I'm not joking- laugh like a rhinoceros lmao."

Me: ,,Shut uuup hahahaha."

Luke: ,,Believe me! And dont drag me to demonstrate hahaha."

Me: ,,You better get started mister!"

We kept talking little longer, and Luke actually helped me feel better. I always knew he's a really nice and kind guy. I like having him around. His company gives me the currently missing and incredibly needed comfort. Weird feeling, if I'm being honest. I don't like liking people. God forbid. I don't wanna get attaced!

|why does rereading this make me cringe waow. well not gonna stop me from posting because it can only get better, right? :)|