"Outter space"

• the birthday present •

-8 day's till I'm finally 18-

Since everyone knows who's going to the mission and who's not, they all are acting different than the usual different. Those who are going are always stressed because they have to make some last checks and practices bla bla. The other's, the ones who can't go, are completely useless. So them, including me, are just trying to kill time in their rooms by who knows what, befor we work on new shit. Let me tell you I'm frikin bored and tired of it. Not being able to go affectes me more than I thought it would. I hate it and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I mean, does Harbord really think I'm not good enough? I know I shouldn't over think this because I'm just turning 18 and people have been waiting for this for way longer than I have. But I mean, I'd be perfect for that mission, right..?

Amy: ,,Heyy, question, did you talk to Harbord yet? It's been two days."

Me: ,,Nahh, just short good morning's and bye's. What else exactly would I say."

Jason: ,,Yo but girl you honestly need to talk to him soon cause-(Amy mouthed "shut the fuck up!" wich I didn't even notice because I didn't face them.) ehm, sorry, well I dont know you just have too, otherwise its gonna be weird(?)"

Amy smacked one hand on her forehead showing Jason, he's stupid and didn't save the situation as he just tried to.

Me: ,,You guys are acting weird.. Don't get me wrong, but imma head back to my room, if you don't mind. Love you." (I said in a calm and actually tired of this topic.)

- Skip to the next week/ 1 day befor I'm 18 birthday -

I woke up feeling really good somehow, my mood was better than yesterday, eventhought I knew that the mission, *cough* the one I'm not allowed to go on, *cough* strats in 4 day's. Not to be dramatic but I'm still with the opinion, that they're missing out on a great recruit. Shit, I'm fucking resentful. Even more of a reason to put on a happy face. Letting people know I care so much isn't what I usually do and I don't wanna start now to be honest.

Jason: ,,Goood mor- oh?" (he said cutting himslef of while he stuck his head trought my door)

He was probaply confused because I 1. was alreday awake (it's something around 10am if im guessing correctup here. but tbh. it doesn't matter) and 2. because I sat in my bed smiling like a honey cake horse, like the germans would say. Learned that from a german astronaut we hired for two years some time back.)

Me: ,,Heyy, what is it?"

Jason: ,,Wait are you sick?! You can't be girl! Don't tell me you got sick" he screamed walking up to me literally shaking the shit out of me, making me a little dizzy.

Me: ,,I'm not sick.. but why wouldn't I be allowed to get sick? wer⁰" (I asked laughing) ,,Its not like I have anything to do at the moment, you know?"

Jason: ,,Ehm, well, your birthday is tomorrow soo.. better not be sick." (he said winking)

Me: ,,Okay? I'll try then, I guess?"

Jason: ,,Anyways, Amy made you breakfast and she wants to know if you want anything special for tomorrow."

Me: ,,Can she make me go on the mission?" (I asked kinda sarcasticly but putting up puppy eyes. Well, the closest I was able to imitate them.)

Jason: ,,..Tayra-"

Me: ,,I know, it's fine I was joking." (I said smiling lightly because my mood was still good enough for me not to freak out again.)

-An Amy, Jason and professor Harbord talk-

Amy: ,,It's gonna be huge, she'll be soo happy."

Jason: ,,She's so hard working and for her age it's awesome how much she already knows and accompliced."

Harbord: ,,You're not wrong Jason, she really is smart. I assure you and everyone, I'm incredibly proud of her work and I'm not questioning her abilities or anything. I just hope you two are right about this, because I'm certain it's not the safest out there. I dont want to put her in danger. Especially with her ambition. Acutally neither of you, but I know that in any case you're trained enough. You've been through missions like this and handled problems mistake free till now. I made the right decision, I'm sure of that. She deserves this, but it'd haunt me to my death, if anything would happen to that child. I lost her mother. I loved her like the daughter I never had and in general, she was such an important member and working for the accomplishments of her orbit only. I can't loose her daughter too and I especially can't do this to the Brooks family again.

Amy: ,,Right, you did make the right decision. It's their dream."

Jason: ,,Their?"

Harbord: ,,Her and her mothers."

|I'm tired. It's literally 3 in the morning and I'm rewriting half of this because I hate it. Can't seem to fix it tho. Gotta deal with what we have I guess. Sorryyy|