Our lives with Dan and Phil/D. H./P. L.

Chapter nine

!Suicide (thoughts)!
!Depression!

Dans POV

We walk inside the hospital. We walk up to the counter. 'We need to see Dakota Bailey.' I say fast. 'I'm gonna look for you where she is right now.' The woman replied. She i pressing some bottoms on the keyboard. 'Look faster.' I say scared. She looks mad at me. 'She can't have visitors right now.' She said. 'Can we at least know where she is? Then we can wait for her.' Eden joins me. The woman looked at the screen. 'Second floor, third hallway.' She said. We all run upstairs. 'Come back here!' The woman tried. A minute later we walk up to the hallway. I look at the name passes on the doors. Meason, Dikson, Bailey. 'Here.' I say trying to controle my breath. 'She can't have visitors.' Phil said soft. 'Does that mean she isn't doing well.' Eden asked. I look at the door. Then it opened. I bounced to the back. 'Hello.' It's a doctor. 'Do you guys now this girl?' He asked. We all not. 'I'm her girlfriend. And they are our best friends.' Eden tells the man. 'We actually tried to call home, but nobody answered. We tried to call her dad. It looks like she doesn't have a mom, is that correct?' The man asked Eden. 'What do you mean? She is living with me and my mom because her mom doesn't want her. Her dad kil- died 2 years ago.' Eden told him. The man cleared his voice. 'All right. Can I get your moms number?' He asked.

It's a few hours later. We still aren't allowed to see Dakota. She's in a coma. A soft one. Not very deep. But she is not doing well. She also have to get air. She is breathing badly by herself. I waking up and down the hallway nervously. 'I'm actually shitting myself! I need to- why? How! Oh my god!' I'm trying to say so much. Eden sits on Phils lap. Phil hugs her to make her feel less stressful. I'm walking up to the counter. 'I want to see my friend. Right now!' I tell the man. He looks at me. 'I'm sorry but you can't-' He tried. 'I don't care. Let us just see her for a minute. So we are sure sh-she is alive.' I said. 'Okay, but one person. You look strong. You can't cry when you see her, it can upset her.' The man said. 'But her girlfriend is over there.' I tell him. 'She is crying since she is here.' He replied. He's right. 'Wait a second.' I said and walked up to Phil and Eden. I explained what the man told me. They not. They are sad that they can't come with me. But they understand. I walk up to the man who is already at Dakotas door. 'Sorry, what is your name again.' He asked. I looked at him. 'Daniel.' I replied. 'Daniel, I will let you alone with her so I can explain your friends what I'm gonna explain to you now. This coma where she is in is not very strong. But she is only waking up if she fights for it. So you have to talk to her. Try to be happy to her, it's the best-.' What he is telling me is kinda fading away. I not when he is finished. 'You can touch her, but softly. Don't bring up any difficult things. Say short things, like that you love her. Or a fun memory.' He continued and finished the story. 'It's all clear. Thank you.' I answered while he openend the door. I walk in and he closed the door behind me. It's dark in the room. The only light there is comes from the machines. But still in the dark and distance I can see her. She is connected to all the machines. She looks small in the big bed. I walk closer to her. She got a black eye and some stained blood under her nose. The doctor told us she asked a few boys to beat her up. They actually did that. A woman found her later that morning and called an ambulance. They think she was lying on the streets since 8 a.m. Eden woke up almost at 11 a.m. since they were out last night. The boys already got caught. Turned out she had payed them to beat her. But they are still going to jail for a year or something. It feels like I'm standing here for hours. But it's like a minute. I sit down at the chair. I grab her hand softly. 'Hi Kota.' I said. It's hard to not let go my tears. 'Remember Christmas? The gifts? The fun we had at the London dungeon? Where is cried like a baby?' I smiled. 'You lost your bracelet, but I found it.' I continued. I grab it out of my back pocket. I put it around her wrist. I grab her hand again. 'Remember yesterday morning? When I fainted because of a spider? Phill killed it. You and Eden made some pancakes to celebrate Phils hero act. You guys were singing so happy.' I said softly. I feel a tear on my cheek. 'Fuck.' I whisper. 'I'm not allowed to cry.' I told her. 'But you know.' I started while I grab here hand with my other hand as well. Softly, making cirkels with my thumbs on the back of her hand. 'You are so loved.' I cry. I'm thinking about things I would want to hear when I committed suicide. 'You are so beautiful. Eden loves you so much! She is your soulmate, you are going to marry her one day. And me and Phil are gonna be your best mans. Me and Phil. You are our best friend. You are our little sister. From fangirl to sister can you believe it?.' I smile softly whipping away my tears. I feel her hand twitching. It works? 'Kota, you are so loved! By me, by Phil, by Eden, by Edens mom and brother.' I tell her fast. She is making some noises. Her eyes opened half. 'Dan? Are you okay?' She asked me. I chuckle. 'Am I okay?' I ask with tears in my eyes.

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Hii! It's been a while since I was on holiday:) I hope you liked the new part:D

Merch update: (a small thingy a want to do when I got new merch)
What do I have so far: (it's a lot I know)
-The amazing tour is not on fire Europe sweater
-Daniel Howell pin set
-Have the courage to exist t-shirt
-Eclips t-shirt
-Don't talk to me longsleeve
-The amazing book is not on fire
-Dan and Phil go outside
-Dan plush
-Phil plush

And there is something coming in the mail as well:
-Houseplant hoodie

It's so much if I see it like this hahaha but I don't even feel bad about it I'm sorry hahahaha