Always been you//Jolex

Chapter 23

"Sadie!" I shout, biting my lip as a tear rolls down my face. I try and shake her awake, but I know it's no use. I can see the pain and fear in Alex's eyes as checks for a pulse. Naturally, the group of mostly doctors rush around her to help. Mer, Maggie, Jackson, Amelia, April, Owen, Miranda, Richard and Catherine stood around us, all speaking over each other, giving contradictory orders.
Through all the commotion, I'm focused only on my little girl, laying unconscious in my arms. I plead to her, unsure of whether or not she could hear me.
"Baby, please. It's gonna be okay, just open your eyes. Please."
If possible, more people gather around me and  Alex on the couch, trying to see what's wrong with her.
"Jo, put her down so we can look at her." Mer says, taking her from me as Alex and I stand. She lays her down on the couch, and we're pushed out of the way as the group of doctors take charge.
"Someone call an ambulance!" Jackson shouts, and someone I don't know picks up their phone and dials 911.
"Alex." I say, grabbing his arm to brace myself as I burst into tears in front of all of our friends. Everything moves in slow motion as he pulls me close and holds me, and I see him holding back his own tears.
"Her pulse is weak. How far are we from Grey Sloan?" Maggie calls out.
"About 15 minutes." Jackson says.
"Crap. That's too long. I need to get a chest x-ray and blood panel and find out what the hell is going on."
Alex pushes through the gathering crowd to help, but Arizona resists.
"Alex, get out of the way. I'm still a Peds surgeon, let me take care of this."
And so we stand back, watching, completely useless. I feel Like I'm dying inside, and I start to hyperventilate, exhausting myself to the point where I can no longer stand. I lower myself into a chair and Alex crouches in front of me, followed by Carina.
"Jo, take a breath. It's not good for your baby. You don't want both of your girls in the hospital." She says.
"She's right." Alex adds. I look back over to Sadie, but all I can see is the large group of people all gathered around her, frantically trying to help with minimal supplies.
"Alex-" I say again.
"I know." He says, pulling me into a hug and holding me for a second. I lean on his shoulder and cry relentlessly, and as if that could wash it all away.
"Jo. Jo, you have to breathe." He said, sounding desperate.
"She has to be okay."
Minutes pass and the chaos only worsens, until a group of paramedics burst through the door.
"Maggie Pierce, head of cardio at Grey Sloan Memorial. I've got a 7 year old girl, post heart transplant, who complained of difficulty breathing before becoming unconscious 10 or so minutes ago."
The medics nod and pull out a portable heart monitor and Maggie connects her, and another Paramedic pulls an oxygen mask over her face before lifting and strapping her onto a gurney.
"I'm going with her." I say, standing.
"Let Maggie and Arizona go. They need to get to the hospital and run tests." Alex says, holding me back.
As quickly as they came in, the medics roll the gurney out with Az and Maggie chasing behind.
"We need to go. We need... we need to go." I say, still hyperventilating.
"I know. Come on." Alex says, taking my hand as we rush behind the rest of the crowd. A few party guests still lingered, but all of the doctors were headed to the hospital to pitch in, and Mer took Sofia and her kids with her.
Alex helps me to the car and we drive in silence to the hospital as worse case scenarios run through my head. From rejection to infection, or something entirely new and unrelated to her transplant, about a million things could be wrong with Sadie, none of them good.
It took us a good 7 minutes longer to get to the hospital than it took the ambulance. By the time we arrived, Maggie already had Sadie set up in the trauma room, sent blood down to the lab, and was prepping her for something.
"She's showing signs of weakness, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, low blood pressure, and her temp spiked to 101. That paired with the fainting episode," Maggie says. "I need to run a few more tests to confirm, but..."
"She's rejecting the heart." Alex says, a statement more than a question
"If the biopsy shows that is the case, we'll start her on a course of IV antibiotics and take it from there. Now, I need to finish prepping and then take her up for the biopsy. She's had one before, so you guys know the drill. Schmitt is going to take you guys to the waiting room." She says, waving him in.
"No, it's alright. I think I'm going to take her to one of the staff rooms to see if I can calm her down. Page me as soon as you're done."
Alex walks towards the door, waiting for me to follow, but I don't move. After a moment, I walk to Sadie, unconscious on the gurney, and take her hand.
"You're being so brave, baby. Mommy and daddy are right here, okay? We love you so much." I say, giving her a kiss.
I walk towards the door and Alex takes my hand, and we walk back into the ER. I feel like everyone is looking at us, although very few people actually know what's happened. We turn through the blank, sterile hallways, but my mind is elsewhere as Alex leads us to a lounge as promised.
I sit on the couch, and Alex props a pillow behind me for support. He sits beside me and places his hand on my thigh, as if wanting to comfort me but unsure of how. I rest my head on his shoulder, and neither of us say anything until I sit up a few minutes later.
"You okay?" Alex asks.
"What if she ends up back on the transplant list?" I ask.
"We're nowhere near there yet."
"Did we do this? What if we got her sick by bringing her to the hospital? Or sending her back to school too early?"
"Jo, this just happens in transplant patients sometimes. Especially in young kids. Chances are, we caught it early and she'll be home by the end of the week."
"You think so?"
"Yeah, I do."
About a half hour later, Alex's pager goes off, and Maggie tells us to what room to meet her in. When we get there, she's waiting outside the door.
"Okay. I have the results." She says. And she does not look happy.