Chapter 9

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AN: hello, loves! please do not be ghost readers! i appreciate all ur votes and comments <3

The lectures weren't as awful as Art expected them to be.

In fact... they were the complete opposite. The main theme about this retreat was "Reconnecting with Yourself, Reconnecting with Your Family" and Art didn't hate it.

The PowerPoint was done nicely. The speaker called himself Brother Gavin and he had a cheery, happy demeanor to him. The things he said make sense. And, to Art's shock, they didn't just go on a happy-go-lucky, let's assume these kids are fine adventure.

No. The whole thing was pleasantly reflective.

"When was the last time you've told your parents you loved them?" Brother Gavin asked gently, holding the microphone closer to his mouth.

Art shuddered and dragged their chair closer to Shade because they were cold, and what sane person turned on the air-conditioner in Tagaytay City? Especially at night! It was eight in the evening, and it was so fucking cold.

"Have you told them you appreciated them? Have you all realized that family is God's greatest gift—and society would collapse with it?" Brother Gavin changed the slide, and then the song Kiss the Rain began to play.

"Classic retreat music," Shade whispered. "They always play this."

Art rolled their eyes. He wasn't looking at them, though. He was staring at the PowerPoint slide that blared: "LOVE YOUR FAMILY—even when it is hard"

"Now," Brother Gavin said gently. He walked to the side of the lecture room to shut the lights. It was pitch black except for the gentle, flickering candlelight from the side of the altar. "I want everyone to take deep breaths with me. Breathe in," he said softly. Art followed. "Breathe out."

"This is it," Art mumbled. "It's meditation crying time, isn't it?"

Shade nodded mutely.

"Do you cry during retreat?"

"I try not to."

"What should I do if you cry?"

Shade rolled his eyes. "I won't cry."

Brother Gavin, warmly, murmured in the microphone, "Let's all close our eyes... And breathe."

Art followed. Shade sighed before doing so.

Kiss the Rain was playing in the background and it was so easy to get lost in its melodies. Art just let themself be, let themself exist inside their own body. They grounded themself. They planted their feet on the ground and took steadying, rallying breaths to the cue of Brother Gavin's instructions.

"Now," he said, "think of your Mom and your Dad."

Shade scoffed. Art slapped him.

"Think of everything you want to say to them, and show them everything inside your heart," Brother Gavin encouraged. "Imagine that your parents are right beside you, willing to listen for the first time. What do you want to say?"

Art shrugged. They... they thought: Mama, stop bullying me.  It hurts sometimes. I know you mean well but it breaks my fucking heart.

"How long has it been since you hugged your mom and dad? How long has it been since you've reminded them that you loved them? That you were grateful for them?"

Shade snorted.

"Or, well... maybe you don't have a mom. Or a dad. Maybe they are away from you... Maybe you haven't seen them in a while. Maybe, you are even angry with them. Tell them all of that, and release everything that is in your heart."

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