You're a Masterpiece (BOOK 1)

The End

I was ready to abandon this story in 2018.

I thought I lost all drive to write you're a masterpiece, to figure out the lives of Shade and Art. When I was twelve-years-old, this story felt like it's come to a finality. A crescendo. Except this crescendo had no magnifying, grand feat...

But only a crash.

And yet here I am—here we are—with a finished story. After two scrapped drafts, twenty-thousand scrapped words, and millions of scrapped ideas...

Here we fucking are!

I cannot explain my thankfulness for all my readers. I cannot explain my thankfulness for everything that has led me to finishing this story and coming back to my Shade, Art, and Chase—as unexpected as that was. I never expected to come back to them. But I did.

To be honest, it felt like they found me. In a time I was struggling—again—with my sexuality and with coming to terms with who I am... I found these characters in the depths of my creativity.

And they weren't abandoned, no, even after a two-year hiatus.

When they reached for me through that dark haze of forgotten gloom... I saw that they had different faces. A different, special interpretation, that matched my new experiences.

Art Mendoza wasn't a soft, pastel baby (as my veteran readers might remember.) No, my real Art Mendoza was a roaring bitch who fought for themself and everyone with a lion heart. They fought with everything they had—tooth and nail, their whole being weaponry—and they also love with everything.

My Shade Flaurante wasn't a bad boy. Hell, sure, he's edgy. But he isn't cocky. My Shade is damaged and torn but keeping it together, the epitome of strength in the midst of trauma.

And my lovely, happy, Chase Adrian Angelo the Third was a special edition to the crew. I... honestly don't know where he came from. But his character couldn't be ignored and I couldn't resist making him a main character. 

They were waiting for me, with the brightest smiles on their faces. Reaching for me. And I reached for them, too.

And... I suppose, they are our characters now. They don't belong to just me anymore. They are mine, sure, and they live in my mind... rent free... but they are also characters you've come to know, appreciate, and love as well.

I hope this story has brought you comfort, and has made you feel things under our wide spectrum of being human.

These characters and this story is a giant comfort to me. They've helped me understand who I am, my own thoughts, and my own upbringing. And I hope, despite the occasional language and culture barriers—that you have found something within yourself that reached for these characters, too.

I believe that if I tried finishing my story in 2018 it wouldn't have been good. I guess, as cheesy as this sounds, I had to live life before I wrote it. I had to figure out for myself what it was like to go through symptoms of depression, to lead schoolmates into three consecutive Cheer Dance Competition championships, to be belittled because of my sexuality, and to be hurt again, and again, and again. By my friends. By my family.

By myself.

But, and I say this with utmost sincerity, You're a Masterpiece is born not from my pain. Rather, it was made and crafted lovingly by my healing. It is not born purely out of the hardships of being a bisexual Filipino fifteen-year-old with strict and conservative parents. It has not come exclusively from the warring complications of growing up, of internalized homophobia, of being young and struggling to piece two things together because shit doesn't make sense sometimes.

It has come from realizing that it's okay to fuck up.

And sometimes, the best things we can do are fail and move forward.

It would have been impossible for twelve-year-old Yana to write something like this. Because, when I was younger, I didn't understand what it was like.

But now I do.

That is why there are bits and pieces of my life woven into the fabric of plot and characters. Some of them are more obvious, while some of them are hints of a friend and hints of comfort food.

This story has gone through so much, but Shade, Art, and Chase were relentless in their need to be pushed from the outskirts of my mind to center stage. Until vague ideas became concrete, until concrete became the foundation of a mighty structure that... one day... I wish to still be proud of.

And... God, okay, a hint about book two: it is so, so, so much more honest. It's through Shade's narration, so expect it to be sadder. And, I won't even sugarcoat this, it is considerably darker than book one.

Which is precisely why I will be taking a break from Wattpad until I am ready to bear these parts of myself and my writing to the world. I... need a break. I'm not sure how long this break will last, but please know that I am not abandoning my story. The only way I can put my best foot forward is by taking the time to sit back.

So, obviously, I'll keep you guys posted on that. You can find me on social media, duh, for updates. I am @shadeandart on Twitter and Instagram. Follow me! FOLLOW ME! FOLLLOOOOOOW MEEEEEEE! I POST ART AND TALK ABOUT SHADE, ART, AND CHASE NON-STOP!

Thank you all to my lovely readers, new and old, who have held my hand and pushed me forward for sixteen weeks. I appreciate you all endlessly. From the bottom of my heart, and I say this with absolute gratitude, I appreciate you.

Thank you.

One little vote, one little comment, and tiny words of encouragement have made this all possible.

And lastly, I have to thank my wonderful girlfriend, Azi. You are my Art Mendoza, through and through, and I thank you every day for your care and your undying support. Thank you, Azi, this finished story is our accomplishment as much as it is mine. :)

Anyway...

See you... when I see you :)

This was You're A Masterpiece, 2020

Thank you for reading. And here's Shade thanking you with flowers! (this was the scene in Chapter 14 illustrated)

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Always Yours,
Yana