IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU

Chapter 14 - Somethings Gotta Give

FEBRUARY - APRIL 2019

Camila stood backstage waiting to go on to start the opening for the 2019 Grammys. She was using the calming tools Akari had taught her to prepare herself. She wore a two piece yellow satin outfit and she felt ready, she felt like this was what she was meant to do, and she wondered why she had waited so long to leave the group. She got into position and the music started, and she was in the zone right until the last note.

She came off and he was there, with his dad and Andrew. He pulled her into a big hug and with a sigh she slid her arms around him and held him tight.

"I'm so proud of you Camilita," he whispered into her hair. She almost cried. But then she steeled herself. She had a plan and she had to put it into motion.

"I'm proud of both of us," she said, smiling up at him. Her heels were low tonight and it made him seem so tall. "And I wanted to talk to you."

He looked startled, then wary. "What about?"

"About 'Senorita'." She said, referring to the song he had played for her at the retreat. "I want to do it."

"I don't know, Mila....." You are not getting off that easy, Mendes, she thought. He had wanted her to do it, well she wanted to do it now. Still, it had to be his decision.

"Well, let me know when you're ready, I know you're off on tour in less than a month, and probably have a lot to do. I'm finishing my tour this month, I'm off to Japan and Manila. Maybe after that if you still want to." She squeezed him and laughed up at him, wanting him to think about her, and then she walked off to get changed, feeling him watching her and swinging her hips because she knew it drove him crazy. No way, you are definitely not getting off that easy, Shawn Mendes.

***

Shawn watched her sultry walk, hips swaying. She was doing that on purpose, he knew her well enough. What was she playing at? As far as he knew, she was still with that damn older guy, she had no right flirting with him. But he was hoping to do something about both of those things. He'd had enough of waiting, this was a war now, and he was going into battle. At the end of this, if they weren't together, then he'd accept that, but as far as he was concerned that was not going to happen. He knew she loved him. He knew she wanted him. Now he just had to remind her of that and convince her to make the right decision. She wanted to record Senorita? Alright, challenge accepted. He'd give it a couple of days and text her. Let's do this thing.

***

She received his text and smiled:

OK, lets do this thing. Senorita is a go.

And then it began. She worked back and forth with the producers, going into the studio, recording vocals, multiple times. Shawn was on tour in Europe now, but if her plan was to work and the song be a success in the process then they needed to stay in touch. Her birthday came and went, she got a Happy Birthday text from him and that was all. She texted him about the song, she wasn't happy with the lyrics, she wanted them to be more personal, she wanted him to really feel them. And the best way to do that when they were in different parts of the world was to facetime. She set it up with him via text and then spent a ridiculous amount of time doing her hair and make-up, keeping it light and simple. She chose to wear the yellow sundress she'd worn on their first "date" at the retreat, with the same hoops in her ears. When his face came up on the screen, she smiled. He had just got back to the hotel after performing, he was wearing a white tank and his curls were damp and hanging on his forehead. He looked beautiful.

"Hi," he said, smiling. "You look pretty."

"Thank you," she hadn't expected the compliment and felt the blush on her cheeks. "So have you heard the tapes?"