"What do you want?" he whispered as he then trailed hot kisses down your neck, across your jawline while pulling your body closer and breathing heavily once again he couldn't find the urge.
"Tell me........tell me so............... I can give it to...
Feeling lost? How does that feel? To be honest I don't even know. You're lost. But you don't know why. One moment things are good, you have in all under control and the next minute well................ you're lost.
There we times when you have these things that you want badly, and then you have it, but then you see another. Then is when you're confused. It's like buying a dress. You like the blue one with the flowers but then you see the red one with the same type of flowers. The color differs that is it. Then with one simple thought, you become lost. Not knowing which one to chose.
They both offer the same, one may differ more but you're still confused because they still have this one thing in common. And that one feature makes you lost.
One makes you look more brilliant and you can see that one you bring out the best in you but the others, it's simple and you like simple. That's you. You like things simple. Given to you easily after you have worked for it, but life doesn't work that way.
You're wearing the dress to the exact same event but that one thing differs and that's what makes you want the other. You lost confused. When you try it one they both feel the same but because the blue one makes up for it with its own style that you the red one has, and vice- versa. But then you think..................
If you really had liked the blue dress you wouldn't have an interest in any other ............
You laid on the bee next to the peacefully sleeping Jungkook. It was now midnight and the windows were closed but the curtains were opened, allowing the dark moonlight to shine brightly into the room.
There were millions of stars in the sky. You wondered what features in those stars made then differ from the rest. Just like people. But everyone's personality is different so it's easy to differentiate.
You couldn't sleep because of the kiss that you had shared but Jungkook. It confused you. Not that he kissed you but because if the way it made you felt. It felt as if you used to Jungkook kissing you.
Jungkook always flirted with you in college, said a cheesy thing, like any boy who liked you would. But since you started to work for him. That childish act changed.
For the first few weeks, you thought it was a simple crush, but then you see how you take it for granted. The past few days, how Jungkook took care of you, proved you wrong. You took his kind acts for granted.
You never once asked him to do the things he did for you, but he made it his priority. And that made you realize that you weren't just a crush for him. You were more and he wanted more but you were confused.
Why? Because there was another. Another that swept you off. But you only realized that Jungkook's feelings towards you recently. He was never an easy book to read never.
Beige Jimin, you felt nothing more than best friends for Jungkook, the friendship was like you and Jin.
Jimin just swept in, in a blink of an eye. You genuinely liked Jimin then. His gestures, his kind acts. The way he took care of you. He could figure out because he holds you himself, he wants to be there for you, and you saw the truthfulness in his words. He took you in dates, ate with you every lunchtime, as any boyfriend would. But our friendship wasn't labeled. Sure we kissed a few times but we never confronted it. You knew Jimin felt something for you. Figuring out his personality, he was genuine. One could tell when he wasn't telling the truth.
But if he wasn't, he would become a pretty good actor.
Jungkook and Jimin were equalized in personality, Jungkook a little more caring as in taking care of you, but they weren't the same person. That one difference that confuses you and makes you lost. The one difference. But you thought that there was more to them being two different persons that were still yet to be figured out. But then you though again.....
If I didn't like the blue dress, it wouldn't have any interest in any other.................
Turning your face to the sleeping Jungkook, you moved some of his bangs that blocked these eyes and smiled at his peaceful figure.
You don't deserve this. You deserve someone that can figure out themself, one that can give to real love. I see that way to honor me. Why do you do it? Do I really mean that much to you? Why can't I see that and just make up my mind ready? I'm not worth it............... I just want you to be happy.......please be happy.......... You whispered softly to him.
You wondered what it would be like in the morning. You would be totally fine is he had storm off on you, thrown you out the house, or even rolled you off the bed given the way you reacted last time he kissed you. But you didn't have anyone to blame but yourself. You wanted it to happen. You were just scared...........lost.
Scooting closer to him, you wrapped your arms around him, trying to keep himself and give yourself some assurance. You clung to him when suddenly you felt his grip on your hand tighten. He babbled words that you couldn't make out. That made your head move and that rested on his chest and look up at him.
His head was shaking from left to right, mumbling, "No! You can't do this! You can't take this away from me! I need her! I love her!!!!" He tightened his grip on you as you became frightened.
"Her" who is he talking about. But that didn't linger in your head since you decided to shake him awake. He slowly calmed down before opening his eyes. He stared blankly at your worried face looking at him.
"You're awake?" He asked in a husky voice. You simply nodded your head. This was the second time that this happened with Jungkook and it began to scared you.
He pulled you into his chest before assuring you to sleep. "Good night my Mashmello, I love you." He spoke into your hair, " I love you too Kookie" you said, words both meaning to different things and the way he said it, you knew.
Accepting the offer you stayed on his chest, in his embrace, as his grip on your hands never once loosed. Not during his bad dream, not when he woke but and still not until he feels back asleep. But as you drive into your slumber, you couldn't help but think about who was "her".
Jungkook on the other hand, had woken up, you knew that you had wakened him up from his nightmares again. But he avoided it and acted it off cool. Like its Was fine......when it's not..............like he always does...............
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" I wish I just tell you the truth, but I'm too selfish, knowing that I'll lose you"
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