Delude | h.s.

nineteen

We're searching for a reason
Too often, too often
To cut these ties and go our separate ways
Much Too Much - Lennon Stella

♤

Layne

Last night was pretty laid back. My family and I went to dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant in town. Then when we came home, we watched Finding Nemo. It's Josh's favorite right now, he wasn't going to have it any other way. He fell asleep halfway into it, and I carried him upstairs after the movie was over.

Zoë called me into her room after I was done and asked when I was going to breakup with Trevin.

Which brings me to now.

I'm waiting for Trevin to pick me up.

We're supposed to have a brunch picnic date. We used to do this all the time when we didn't have class.

My parents don't know that I'm breaking up with him. I don't really want them to know. They love Trevin. I swear my mother has been planning our wedding since before we were even dating.

I'm sure they wouldn't like him so much if I told them what happened last year. There was enough happening in our lives, the last thing I needed to do was tell them about what he did. It wasn't even that bad, it just proved to me that this was never going to work out in the end.

The hardest thing about this is that Harry has been texting me all morning. I've been trying to hide the excitement and blush whenever I see his name pop up on my screen. I think I'm doing an okay job, but Zoë can see through it all. She's the only one who knows about everything, and she is extremely biased on both situations. Every time I get a text, she smirks at me and raises her eyebrows suggestively. All I can do is shake my head and roll my eyes.

What are you doing today?

I read the text and feel anxiety grip at my chest, making my heart feel like it's being choked instead of hugged.

just hanging out with a friend

I type. I stare at it for a second, knowing I'm lying to him. It really isn't a big deal. I doubt he wants anything serious with me. On top of that, I'm breaking up with Trevin, so it isn't going to matter tomorrow. I've been over him for a long time. My mind doesn't even register him as my boyfriend anymore.

I should have broken up with him before I even moved, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. After meeting the few friends I have in the city, I knew I wasn't going to be able to continue my relationship with him. When I hung out with Iris that one day, I realized that he and I were never going to work – we're too different.

I hit send on the message and tuck the phone into my back pocket.

"Hey, Layne." Zoë says from the across the table.

We're sitting outside at our outdoor furniture while my mom and dad work on the deck. Josh is playing in his turtle sandbox a few feet away. The umbrella is open, and Zoë and I are sitting under its shade.

"Yeah?" My eyes meet hers and she looks a little nervous.

"I still need to tell you about that thing." She says vaguely.

Shit.

I totally forgot. I've been so focused on my own stuff it completely slipped my mind.

"Oh, right! I'm sorry. What is it?" I ask.

She licks her lips and looks down at her bowl of mango. "Can I tell you when you get home? I know you're stressed right now, and I don't want to make it worse." She must see the wariness on my face because she backtracks. "It's nothing bad! Don't worry. I just want you to focus on you-know-what when you do it, not me."