Delude | h.s.

twenty

I don't wanna be your boyfriend
When you need a little company
I don't wanna be your boyfriend
No, when there's not another phone to ring
Boyfriend - COIN

♤

Harry

"So, you're telling me, if you and I were the last people on earth and somehow we could repopulate the planet, you wouldn't sleep with me?"

Luke's arm is hung around my shoulders, his mouth close to my ear and his beer bottle resting against my chest in his hand.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to find even an ounce of patience for this idiot. "That is exactly what I'm telling you," I say through gritted teeth.

"Good grief," Luke huffs in disbelief. He throws his arm up and flops back onto the couch. I have no idea why he was sitting so close to me. We're in Iris' apartment with three other people, not in a crowded bar. "If it makes you feel any better, I would sleep with you to save the human race."

I glare at him and roll my eyes. "You are such a fucking moron."

"I'm a moron because I'd fuck you?"

I stand up from the couch the second the words leave his mouth. "Never say that again."

"Say what?" He asks innocently, unable to hide his mischievous smirk, "That I'd fuck you?"

"Okay, Luke, we get it. You want to fuck Harry, so do I, so does everyone else. You're not special," Chuck cuts in.

Sometimes, Chuck's interjections are welcome – this is not one of those times.

I make my way to the kitchen and open the fridge. I need another beer to make it through tonight. Matt is on a date with Jenny, leaving me alone with beach bum blondie. Chuck and Sean are more Matt's friends than mine. Not only that, but Chuck gets along better with Iris than any of us, and Sean is a stoner, which means he isn't exactly present most of the time. I wouldn't like to consider Luke my friend, but I don't have anyone besides Matt, so I don't really have a choice.

"For the record," Iris cuts in, "I don't want to fuck you."

You already have, I think.

I'd say it out loud, but the last thing I need is to get in another fight with Luke. He may fuck around with a lot of women, but Iris is the one he always comes back to. Everyone knows he likes her more than he lets on except for Iris. She's in love with the asshole, he's just too afraid to admit that he loves her back.

They have such a weird, complicated relationship. I don't know if any of us know their full story.

"Thanks, Iris," I say sarcastically, "means a lot."

She nods her head with an equally sarcastic smile and moves to the living room. She now has a glass of wine in one hand, and her dab pen in the other.

I open the bottle against the tile countertop and toss the cap into a glass jar that Iris insists we put them in. She has four jars completely full and on display in her kitchen. One of them is full of pull-tabs, which is arguably worse than the three bottle cap jars. I'm sure she's trying to prove her point that we're a bunch of alcoholics. I never argued with her otherwise, but Luke did, which is what started the jars. They've been collecting tops for a little over a year, and the only times we contribute to them are when we drink at Iris' – which is rare.

"I want wine!" Chuck whines.

"Sorry, babes, this was the end of the bottle." Iris replies apologetically.