chapter 2

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excuse the mistakes:

I walked to my room and slammed my door and locked it, why the hell would my dad do that to me?

There was a knock on my door, " Clare are you ok?" Ryan asked from the other side of the door.

"Go away, I dont want to talk to anyone!" I yelled at him.

the door unlocked to reveal Ryan with a worried expression." what happened?" He asked tting on the ground next to me.

"I dont want to have someone ese live here." I said to him.

"Wait, when is he moving in again?" he asked.

"In like two days."

"Well I have to clean my room." he said with a sigh.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. I suddenly remember im supposed to be mad. I frown once again.

"oh come on he cant be that bad." he said.

" I just feel like we will not have anymore room for mom,"i say, softly.

Ryan's jaw clenched and his hands balled up in fists, "Mom isnt coming back, she made that clear the day she left us with that douche bag." his voice is different, its not loving and joking, by his tone you can tell hes mad and upset.

I placed a hand on his shoulder and he relaxed a little bit. I had tears in my eyes. I haven't seen my mom in 8 months. I know deep down inside she wont come back, but i still like to believe that one day she will.

Ryan looked over at me with an unreadable expression, " Clare, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

" its fine" i interrupted.

" Ok you gonna be ok?"

"yes, Ryan I'm gonna be ok" i said and when I said that, he walked out of the room.

I checked the time 10:30. "might as well go to sleep" i muttered to my self.

***

" you know I should be the one driving," I say to Amber "I'm the one sober" I explain.

" Oh would you shut your mouth were fine." Amber slured and I rolled my eyes and looked out the window.

We were just leaving a party that got to wild. I had to force Amber to leave or else i don't know what could have happened to her.

Suddenly I see a bright light as it gets closer I realize it's a car. "AMBER WATCH-" The car rams into the front of us and glass is thrown everywhere.

My vision is blurry. my arm is cut by the glass of the window. I look over at Amber. dead. my breath starts to get heavy. I feel something in the pit of my stomach. I look around and there is blood dripping from my leg and arm.

The sirens of an ambulance, is the only thing I hear.

***

I sit up suddenly. I put my head in my hands. I run my hand through my hair. I stand up and walk to Ryan's room.

" Ryan," I whisper "Ryan!" i whisper louder than before.

he mumbles something that i cant quite hear.

I walk over to him and crouch beside his bed. I shake him a bit until he wakes up. His eyes flutter open. "Hey princess." he scoots over so i have space to lay down. I climb in and cuddle up next to him. He wraps an arm around me. In seconds im back to sleep.

***

I wake up with a very heavy arm around me. I try moving it but it moves it self.

"so are you going to tell me why you came in my room at 1:00 in the morning?" Ryan asked.

I remember the dream and I let out a shaky breath.

"was it Amber?"

I close my eyes and nod my head.

Ryan wraps his arms around me "its not your fault," he says to me. But he is wrong about one thing. It is my fault. Its my fault we went to the party. Its my fault she got drunk. It my fault she drove. Its my fault that shes dead.

A single tear runs down my cheek. Amber was my best friend. It still haunts me even though it happened last year.

I get up from the bed and walk into his bathroom. I splash some water on my face to cool down.

"Can we go somewhere?" I ask him

"where is that?"

"anywhere," I suggest

" alright where is this anywhere you speak of" he asks.

An evil smile spreads across my face.

***

" How did you mannage to get me to go to the mall with you?"Ryan whines

" Stop whining before i go get a baby bottle and a stroller and forse you to sit in it." I say. I am serious about the baby stroller and the bottle. And if he dosent know that than he has another thing coming.

We walk into Macys and i pick out some clothes. that Ryan is obviously going to pay for.

On our way out of the store I notice Zach walking around the girls dressing rooms. I have a confused look on my face and Ryan seems to notice because he looks over at Zach to. " Do you know that guy?" He asks.

"yeah."

" Well lets go talk to him." he suggests.

right when he says that, Kayla and Jordan walk out of the dressing rooms with different pairs of clothes. I suddenly feel mad and sad at the same time. Why wouldnt they invite me to come with them?

I glare at them not that they can see me though. I start to walk towards them but Ryan grabs my wrist before I can.

"What?" I yell at him.

"are you really getting mad over this?" he asks.

"yes i am getting mad, we always go to the mall together and now they go with HIM!" I slip my Wrist out of his grasp and walk towards them.

Kayla is talking when her gaze lands on me,"oh hey Clare".

"dont you hey Clare me , what the hell guys. Why wouldnt we invite me?"

"I guess it slipped our minds," Jordan said.

" Right, Just like people actually slip on banana peels." I said sarcastically. With that i stormed off towards the direction of the store exit, Ryan trailing behind me.
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