fine lines - Pete Davidson

chapter 14

July 4th - 3 AM

i've been having the worst trouble sleeping lately. it is just so hard for me to clear my mind and calm down to the point where i can fall asleep. i dont know why i have this unnecessary anxiety building up all the time, but i really wish it would go away.

ever since we left Petes house he has stayed very quiet. i know he doesnt always like to talk about personal things or open up to people, but i really wish he would sometimes. i just want him
to know that he can talk to me about anything and that i'm here for him.

i roll over in bed, trying to get more comfortable. my body snuggles up under the light grey covers. "Emmy, are you up?" Pete whispers in a groggy tone.

"yeah i cant sleep" i quietly reply. i feel him shift his body closer to mine, and he wraps his arm around my waist so that hes the big spoon. the feeling of his arms around me always makes me feel warm and safe inside.

"im sorry, you know, about today" he casually says. before responding, i slowly bring his hand up to my face and gently kiss the back of his fingers.

"Pete please dont be sorry. its really okay." i say and then intertwine my fingers with his. he tightens his grip around my waist, and hugs me closer to him. i can feel the warmth of his skin against mine and its the best thing i've felt in a long time.

"well i am sorry. i shouldnt have brought you there in the first place. it was a mistake." i can hear his voice thinning out. he sounds like he's trying so hard not to cry, and it hurts my heart. i cant imagine what hes going through with his family and how he feels right now.

it is quiet for a second as i'm trying to figure out what to say. i have to be careful with how i word things because i know deep down that he's a sensitive person, and i wouldnt want to say anything to hurt him. i care about him a lot.

"i know its none of my business what goes on in your family, but just know that i'm here for you. i know it must be hard for you to grow up and live in a house like that. but i care about you so much Pete, its crazy. you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. i'm here for you, always." i finally say. the room stays silent and he doesnt move at all. after a few seconds though, i can feel a dampness on my shoulder and its from him crying.

my eyes start to water too. i hate to see him cry. it makes me sad when he's in pain like this.

"i know it sounds crazy because we havent known eachother long, but i need you so much Em. you make me so happy and i don't know what i'd do without you." he says through the tears. he kisses me on the shoulder, and his lips on my skin give my whole body butterflies.

i know its not the right time to tell him, but i love him so much. i love him more than anything else in the world. hes so sweet and loving and i want to be with him always and forever. but its too soon to tell him that, and i dont want to fuck with his emotions right now.

"i need you too Pete. you are so special to me. i'm happy youre here with me right now, in my apartment, in my bed. there's no place i'd rather be then in your arms." i smile, even though i know he cant see me. he doesnt say anything, but instead he places the most gentle kiss on my neck.

it goes silent. i close my eyes to try and fall asleep again, and this time my mind is much more calm and clear then before. i can finally fall asleep

//

10:00

my eyes flutter awake and the smell of coffee instantly hits my nose. i turn to see that the rest of the bed is empty, so Pete mustve gotten up. i let out a sigh and rest my eyes again, not wanting to move. i stretch under the covers as i try to gain the strength to get up.