Blink Of An Eye

Chapter 1

Surprisingly, the offseason flew by. A week in Nashville for champions week. Another week in Costa Rica with just Ryan and me. We celebrated Christmas with both of our families. Ryan's birthday on New Year's Eve. Not long after that, preseason interviews and media day were upon us, and before we knew it, we were back in Daytona for speed week.

This year was going to be even more special. Ryan was not only the defending Daytona 500 champ but defending Cup Series champ. As expected, we were very busy.

Because it was Daytona, both of our families were here. My mom, Lisa and Erin were all godsends helping out with Makenna while I worked, and I could not be more grateful. I loved my job as Ryan's PR. It allowed us to spend even more time together, and I was not ready yet to give it up.

Today was race day. Ryan was starting on the outside of the front row, next to Chase, who had won the pole.

"Good luck today." My friend Carly, who had recently got engaged to Chase, whispered in my ear as she hugged me, just as we were taking our places on the starting grid before pre-race ceremonies were to begin.

"You too." I squeezed her hand, then we caught the eye of our other friend Nicole Bowman, who was glued to her husband Alex's side. Alex had his hand sweetly on her little baby bump.

I couldn't believe how far we had all come over the last three years. How I had reconnected with my old friends, who were now part of the same amazing circle as me. By far the best three years of my life.

Ryan kept one arm around me, the other hand over his heart for the singing of the National Anthem, and the fighter jets flew overhead. It was a perfect day for racing. I could already feel the butterflies of anticipation and excitement in my stomach.

"I love you. You be safe out there." I said to Ryan, like I always did before every race and I kissed him.

"I love you too sweetheart." He returned my kiss, then directed his attention to our now five month old daughter, taking her from my arms. "Daddy will see you soon princess." Ryan placed a kiss on Makenna's forehead, and she squealed with delight. Those squeals quickly became wails with a quivering bottom lip when he handed her over to me. Such a daddy's girl.

My mom took Makenna back to the bus. I took my place in the pit box. Dave and Lisa were there. I thanked Todd when he handed me my headset. The cars had just gotten the one to go.

The race was exciting from the drop of the green flag. Close racing, numerous lead changes, and of course the inevitable big one that occurred mid race. Ryan's car was fast, and he had led the most laps by far. The laps were winding down. I could feel the rush of adrenaline running through my veins. The sights, the sounds and the smells as intoxicating as ever. God I loved this.

I will always remember everything about this moment. It will be burned into my brain for all of eternity.

They say when something bad is about to happen, you feel it in your subconscious, but the truth was, it happened so fast, I didn't have a chance to feel it beforehand. It just happened.

No feeling of impending doom. No sense of dread or unease. Nothing to warn me that my world was about to be torn apart.

Maybe we had all gotten used to, and maybe even a little spoiled to the notion of how safe racecars are, until all of a sudden....they're not.

Literally in the blink of an eye it happened. One second, Ryan is leading, less than a turn away from taking the checkered flag, and the next, the bright yellow number 12 is in the air, hurtling into the catch fence before landing, then barrel rolling into oncoming traffic. One, then two cars hit him before the car came to a stop, upside down in the infield grass.

The blood is rushing through my ears. My heart is pounding in my chest. I can barely hear Todd calling out to him "Ryan, are you okay? Talk to me bud." It barely registers with me that Ryan is not responding back, and that his window net is still up.

Of course he's okay. These race cars are safe.

I climbed down from the pit box. I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was suffocating up there.

My vision begins to fade when I see the ambulance and safety workers frantically rush to the mangled car. Even though I was no longer in the pit box, I could still hear Todd calling out to him, and it finally hits me that no, he is not okay. Something is seriously wrong.

Then everything turned black.

When I came to, I'm surrounded by Dave, Lisa, and my mom and dad. A thousand thoughts cross my mind: How long was I out? Where is my daughter? Ryan? Oh God! Is Ryan okay?

I finally catch a glimpse of my friend Nicole holding Makenna. Alex is next to her. Off to the side, I see Erin. She's crying, and her boyfriend William Byron is comforting her. My friend Carly is also there, her fiancé Chase  is holding on to her tightly.

Is Ryan okay? The words are there, on the tip of my tongue, but when I open my mouth to speak, those words fail me.

I can see the safety workers are still attending to Ryan, so maybe I was not out that long.

A jacket is placed over my shoulders. It was by my dad. Good thing because I'm suddenly freezing.

"He's out of the car. They are taking him straight to the hospital." I hear a voice say, and I realize it's Todd.

"Any word on his condition?" I hear another voice say. I think it's Dave. It may be my dad. Hell, it could have been anyone.

"Just that he's unconscious." Todd replied.

My mom and dad gather around me, practically carrying me as we made our way to the car to go to the hospital.

I feel like I'm in a trance. Like I'm not really here and this is not really happening. It feels like a dream...a nightmare. It's almost like I'm standing outside of my body looking in.

One thing I know for certain, my husband is not okay.