Blink Of An Eye

Chapter 19

"How did your appointment go?" Olivia asked me, looking up from the desk where several bills laid. She pushed her reading glasses up higher on her nose, and I was reminded once again of high school Livvy. God I really needed to stop thinking of her that way.

"Good." I replied, leaning over to kiss her cheek. I noticed the logo for the hospital in Daytona on one of the letters. Great. Probably a fortune in hospital bills due. "How much do we owe?" I asked, bracing myself.

"Don't worry about it. It's taken care of." She replied, putting the notices into a neat stack, then placing them into a file.

"Bad?" I asked. 

"It was a lot, but I don't care. They saved your life and I'd pay it a thousand times over again. We're fine." She reassured me, and I got the sense she didn't want to talk about it. I was aware of our finances, and I knew we weren't hurting financially, despite huge medical bills, so I let it drop. She didn't seem too stressed over it, so that was a good thing.

"The doctor said he's seeing a lot of progress in my motor skills. Really good progress." I smiled.

A few weeks had passed since that first appointment and my subsequent blowup. Probably the most important change had been in my attitude. Instead of focusing on the things I didn't want to hear, or didn't want to face, I directed that focus into motivation and attacked my recovery process head on. I looked at the positives instead of the negatives. Olivia's influence helped greatly. She encouraged me to work harder, to fight more. I kept all of my appointments. I did the therapies, I put in the work, and it was starting to pay off.

"That's great." She exclaimed. She was my very own personal cheerleader.

"Makenna asleep?" I asked.

"Yeah. She's been down for about an hour. Why don't you tell me more about your appointments."

One very positive change between Olivia and me was our communication. Neither of us were holding anything back. She was so easy to talk to and so supportive in everything. Over the last few weeks she had become much more relaxed. She was eating and sleeping better and smiling a lot more. She looked healthier. The dark circles under her eyes were gone, and she looked like she may have put on a little bit of weight that was much needed. There was still an underlying sadness in her eyes though, and that gutted me because I knew the reason.

"I had a really good visit with my therapist too. We talked a lot today about you and Makenna. He stressed about being open with you. Told me to focus on the present you and not dwell on the past you. He said I needed to continue to be open with you, and I intend to."

"Any more memories?" She asked, and her face looked so hopeful, that I hated to let her down. I had not remembered anything new, but I felt like I was on the verge of a big breakthrough. Something was there. I could feel it on my gut, in my bones, but I just couldn't grasp it.

"Sorry, no." I shook my head and watched her face drop a little, but she recovered quickly, and her relaxed composure was back.

"It's okay. It's going to happen soon. I can feel it." She smiled, and I swear my heart fluttered a little.

"I feel it too." I squeezed her hand, realizing I didn't just mean I felt an epiphany coming. I felt something more. My feelings for her were growing every day, but I didn't want to put too much emphasis on it until I was certain. On this level, maybe I was holding back from her after all, but I convinced myself it was for her own good.

We talked more about my visit with the neurologist and the progress that had been made. As I talked, she snuggled her body more and more tightly against me, until her legs were curled under her and her head was on my chest. I liked this closeness we had begun to share. It just felt right. Her body was so warm, and she smelled so damn good. I tipped my head down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, feeling my entire body respond when her lips began to move against mine. I swear I've never tasted anything sweeter. We didn't let ourselves get too carried away like previous occasions. There was an undeniable and powerful sexual attraction between us, but I had my reasons for not giving in, and she respected them. Again, for her own good. I had hurt her enough.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, through slightly swollen pink lips after we broke off the kiss.

Yes I was hungry, for her. It didn't take rocket science to figure that out, but I just couldn't go there with her. Not yet. "Starving." I replied with more than one level of truth in my reply.

"I cooked chicken Alfredo. One of your favorites." She said with another smile brightening her face. I don't know what I did to deserve this woman. I just hoped that one day, I would be able to make it all up to her.

We went into the kitchen, and a few moments later, she set a plate of steaming pasta, rich white sauce and diced chicken before me. The smell made my mouth water, and my stomach growled in response, earning a laugh from her.

"Mmmm." I released a moan of satisfaction as the creamy, garlicky sauce touched my tongue and assaulted my senses. Olivia laughed again, the sound music to my ears.

I guess I was even hungrier than I though, because I had finished my plate and was was just starting on my second helping.

Makenna then woke up. Whimpers emitting from the baby monitor, making my heart flutter yet again. "I'll get her." I started to stand. 

"No. Finish eating. I'll get her." Olivia said.

A few minutes later, she returned with the smiling baby, who held out her arms to me. Forgetting about the rest of my food, I took my daughter into my arms, her soft warmth and the irresistible baby smell tickling my nose making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. For the first time since the accident, I felt...content. I was happy. So I may never drive a race car again, but I had a beautiful family. That was one of those positives I needed to keep focusing on.

**********

I woke up the next morning and walked into the kitchen. Olivia was singing along to an old Taylor Swift song while she cooked breakfast, watching as Makenna kicked and squealed with laughter from her high chair. Her singing was off key, but it made Makenna laugh, which in turn made me laugh.

"Taylor Swift huh." I laughed as I walked over to the coffee maker. The words froze me in my tracks as soon as they left my lips. They were so familiar.

"One of my guilty pleasures." She replied, and I froze again. I felt like I was experiencing some kind of deja vu. I somehow knew she was going to say that, just as she did a few years ago. It was starting to come to me. This song. Olivia. Us. Then a new memory emerged.

"Ry, is everything okay?" She asked.

"I...I think I remember something. Dancing in the rain. Me and you."

I watched the tears fill her hazel eyes. Oh God. Did I remember something awful again? But no, that wasn't it. In this memory, we were happy. We were...in love.

"It seems like a good memory. Why are you crying?"

"It was a great memory. One of the best." She replied, smiling as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Then it hit me. I remembered even more.

"It was the first time I told you that I loved you, and then we made love for the first time." I nearly whispered the words and my mind started putting these few puzzle pieces into place. Why did it take me so long to figure out what was right in front of my eyes this entire time?

"Yes." She cried, flinging her arms around my neck. Without even realizing what we were doing, we began dancing around the kitchen. My heart felt so full. I may not have remembered everything, but I remembered this. This was big. I may not know much, but I was now certain in my heart of what I was feeling.

"I love you." I murmured against her lips, as my hands cupped each side of her face.