It's back to being Monday again. I didn't sleep. How could I? He was stuck on my mind like glue and it was killing me today. It's not like it was unusual for me to think about him, he's an image burned into my memory. I close my eyes and there he stands. Kayla is like that too. Her image is burned into my eyes as if this is a sign. They both have mindless groupies who've been pushed and locked out of their shell. I'm not s groupie. I know I'm not. I just don't really know what I am right now.
I walk to my locker keeping my head down. I don't want to see the unwelcoming states today. I hear someone saying my name behind me but I don't bother to see who, everyone seems to know me now, which I don't mind as much I thought I would. But sometimes I really do hate it. I hate that I ever took up on that offer. I hate that I'm so sad. I hate myself so much more lately that it's becoming habitual.
I walk to class only to see Alex and Kayla waiting for me. They're both looking at me. Do they know? I sit by myself today. I don't want to be bothered and I don't want them knowing how I'm feeling and I'm pretty sure they already know which made everything worse. As the bell rang to inform us it was time to learn I sat thinking of both of them. Kayla is a lot like a spider. She can be venomous without knowing it, but she never really is venomous unless you break down someone she actually cares about. She can manipulate too, but I don't think she sees that she can. She's s true original inside and out when it comes down to it. Alex on the other hand, he's sad. Kayla is full of anger and Alex is sad. He can manipulate too, he's oblivious to how good he can be at it. He's an athlete so every girl drools over his body, his figure isn't what he really is on the inside, on the inside he's rather reclusive and very observant of everything around him. Maybe that's why I seem to crave him.
I sat alone the rest of the day hoping that no one would bother to take the empty desk to me in Latin but with my luck Alex stole the seat beside me and Kayla managed the one behind me. The very last period and I knew it'd be hell because they both knew something was obviously wrong. I honestly wish I could just pound my head into this desk so I didn't have to feel so guilty about hiding so many things about myself from them. Maybe I should try it.
