Approaching Sun

Chapter 28: Wherever You Are

Sakura was already closing the inches between them. Her fingers were already brushing his cheeks as she brought his face to hers. She hesitated. Just for a second. Just long enough for him to pull away from her. But Sasuke barely took a breath before Sakura touched her lips to his.

Sakura placed her lips on Sasuke's carefully. Although she held his face, she did not pull him to her in desperation, but simply guided his mouth to hers gently. Their lips touched for a very long second, brushing each other as Sakura leaned into it. Sasuke wavered for just a moment and then Sakura felt his body bend toward hers. His fingers brushed her left hip hesitantly and Sakura responded by deepening the kiss. The very moment their kissing became more substantial, Sasuke's hand rose from her hip and took hold of her left hand. He pulled it from his cheek.

Sakura's soaring heart suddenly dropped to her stomach.

"Stop," he whispered, and turned his head away from her. He held onto her wrist for just a little longer before dropping it. He took a step back and Sakura wanted nothing more than to grab hold of him and pull him back to that moment, but Sakura knew that if she spoke, the tears would come and her voice would break.

"What are you doing?" he asked her coldly and the question felt like a knife in her gut.

"Sasuke, I..." she began, stumbling for what to say. Had she misunderstood? No, Sakura had been sure of what she saw in his face just moments before she kissed him; she had been sure that Sasuke had entwined their hands together. There was no mistaking it, but maybe she had moved too fast which startled him. Sakura cursed her eagerness. She had wanted to kiss him ever since they were genin together; had been imagining this very moment for so long.

"Do you think I brought you with me for this?" Sasuke finally asked, eyes downcast and blank.

Despite the cracking in her chest at his harsh words, Sakura tried to think clearly about what she could say to fix this. Her thoughts returned to when Sakura had fought Sasuke back in Konoha as an attempt to get through to his stubbornness. When she had been suspended in the air by Sasuke's Susanoo arm and he had demanded why she expected him to play at love with her, Sakura's answer then was her answer now.

"No," she responded in the gloom. "I don't expect anything from you. I told you that."

Sasuke made brief eye contact with her through his shaggy hair. The fear that Sakura had seen just seconds earlier was now shaded by anger and confusion.

"Sakura," he began, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "We can't do this."

Sakura wanted to shake him for saying that. She didn't understand his logic. What was going on in that head of his? She had told him before that they didn't have to be together; that she didn't expect him to stay in Konoha; that she had absolutely ZERO expectations if they could just love one another. So what was it for him? What had him so hung up and determined to keep his distance? Frustrated, Sakura could only think of one reason. It always came back to one thought for Sakura. "Why can't we?" she finally demanded. "Am I wrong? Do you really not feel love towards me?"

"It doesn't matter!" he dismissed her heatedly. He was glaring at her now, no longer avoiding her eyes.

That statement was only more confirmation for Sakura. Sasuke would be lying to her face if he said he didn't love her. It was true that he had feelings for her and they both knew it. Then what? Before Sakura could ask any more questions, Sasuke's sharp voice pierced the space between them.

"I'm getting tired of repeating myself. I told you I can never be that person for you."

Sasuke had said that to her before. When he had chosen to walk away again after her confession since he had returned to Konoha. The way he said it now was a little different, Sakura realized. His exact words to her before had been "That person is never going to be me." This time he said, "I can never be that person." Maybe she was reading too much into it, but there was a subtle implication there like it wasn't Sasuke's choice. Like there was something else preventing him from being so.